In the groove

Remember that funny feeling in your stomach you got when you felt obligated to participate in something which you were not sure of but the circumstances brought you to the scene but as you got in the groove it turned out to be quite a gratifying experience! Last swimming class where our preschooler showed enough brevity and did what the coach asked her to. For the whole weekend, we kept on hearing "Mamma, I didn't play there, I did what the teacher told me to". Is she just doing it to please us and the teacher? Every mom out there knows that our breed is quick to take blame and feel the guilt. No matter how rational we are , once it comes to our offsprings dealing with difficult situation we try to find reasons, solutions, escapes and in the end we coax ourselves to a trip down the guiltville and then we look for a saviour to rescue us and reassure us that we are good mothers.

Today's swimming class liberated me from the cerebral plight. I could see that my daughter wasn't obligating anyone, she was simply having fun. Walking on water, blowing bubbles, coming down the slide, holding hands with friends and playing ring around the rosies. Delight was written all over her face, her body movements were exhibiting the inner joy she was tasting.



I am back from guiltville now.Well who am I kidding, don't worry my fellow moms I will see you there in a bit while you make your trips back and forth and we look for another groove.

Two Zero- Twenty

Saturday was the first dental visit for our preschooler. I chose not to follow the route of reading a lot of books about it or showing any videos. My gut told me not to make a big deal about it. The only exposure she had about it was the knowledge that mom went to the dentist few weeks back and came back in one full piece. I believe that it also made her all pompous of being getting to do something that mom did. Any and every act that a child engages in, is directed towards displaying her faculty to be just like the grown ups, its funny human nature because on the contrary as grown ups we all are trying to awaken the once alive naivete in us.
How many teeth do you have? Would you like to count them? And the next minute we were sitting in the “examination room”, that’s a different matter as to whose examination it was. The dentist was under the vigilant eyes of an extra cautious girl. She is in this profession for many years and must have dealt with varied personalities. Well, time to show if she had gained any expertise all these years! At the end the team of mom and the preschooler gave her a five star rating with only one tiny complaint. “Mamma, when the dentist was cleaning my teeth she asked me if she is tickling me. I was already laughing mamma because I was getting tickled. When someone tickles us we laugh. Why did she keep asking me that, she should know if I am laughing while getting teeth cleaned that means she is tickling me. I don’t laugh when I brush at home because my toothbrush doesn’t tickle me. She has a funny toothbrush.” I wanted to tell her that probably she was getting more tickled by your laughs than you were by her brush because you, being a child, are trying to grow up and she, as we all grown ups are, is trying to, one or the other way, connect with her departed childhood.
Oh, and by the way, she has twenty of them, 2 and 0, twenty.

Laws of Nature

Today was the second swimming class. My preschooler wasn't happy that she is having to miss her preschool to go do something she isn't even interested in the first place. On the ride to the pool, "Are we going to school?" We are going to the swimming lesson. "I don't want to do swimming, I don't like it". Well, then we will not swim, we will just walk around, look at other kids and just bask in the sun. Its a nice sunny day today. What do you think? "That's a great idea, I think we can do that. We don't have to swim". Of course, we won't swim if its not fun for you. Would you want to watch other kids doing it and just stroll around? "Yes, I want to do that and it a great sunny day today Mamma, it will be nice to walk around".
We were 15 minutes early (purposely) for the class and there was another class in session. So we hung around, watched everyone in dormant fashion and we were subdued, we didn't want to be apprehended by anyone. We were there but we didn't want any one to proclaim our presence. We didn't want to be seen. And then the clock struck 10. Along with five other names the coach called our name. I stood placidly waiting for nothing to happen. But then I saw a girl in pink swimsuit running towards the coach to take her hand so she can sit in the pool on the steps. That was my girl!!!! What had just happened? Weren't we suppose to lay low so no one can spot us and ask us to be in the pool, that big blue giant which sometimes looks like moving and appears to be ready to gobble up the ones who dare to dive in. Wasn't I expected to hold hands tightly? Not to say I wasn't elated but I was still trying to decipher the newly found fortitude that this young one had put up on display. Are these laws of nature at work that I am seeing? The tighter you hold the sand, the faster you empty your hands I had to learn to let go, I had to give her the control so she can decide what she wants to do with her body.
The class was in full swing and the coach kept winking at me in between to let me know that she is fine. The girl walked in the water, kicked the water and even did a lap with the help of the big noodle and the coach. Every time the coach started a new act, she would try to find me and get a nod to go ahead. When the class was over she ran to me and said "I was so brave today, I did everything the swimming teacher asked me to, I am so proud of myself Mamma". I am proud of you too, was it fun? "It was fun, I feel so fresh".

It's a great sunny day, I feel fresh too.

The Learning Curve

Yesterday we were at the swimming pool for our preschooler's first swimming class. The coach was nice and gentle and the class seemed to be going well just when my daughter decided she doesn't want to learn swimming anymore. We spent all our time outside the pool squeezing water out of a fish toy while other 5 kids were moving ahead in the class. As a person I understood her fear and felt that she will do it when she feels it right but the parent in me found it hard to see other kids flapping their arms and legs in water and enjoying every bit of it while my kid was just sitting. I was so wrong in that last bit. She was not just sitting there, she was dealing with the fear and the insecurity, she was going through the chagrin of not being able to perform well as her peers. She was bewildered by the antithesis of her desire and inability, desire to jump in the sparkling blue water and her inability to let go of the fear. Her mind was perplexed by the trust all other children could display while she was fiddling with her confidence. She was growing up right there while I was being a baby who was adamant to just see the performance for which she bought the ticket.
I was a grown up before I had my daughter, she is helping me evolve.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

and then there are dollhouses. I was out today to buy a treat for my preschooler and while in the toy store I ask my way to the trains section I find myself posed with a question "How old is your son?" My daughter is 3 and a half "OH! It must be a few days craze." Unnn, well its been going since past two years. "Wow!! Never heard of that!" I don't blame the store owner as he must be speaking from experience. Boys running towards the trucks and trains and girls choosing the delicate Barbie dolls and teddy bears. Our preschooler is a big fan of anything that's a mode of transportation. Whenever we go to some one's house who doesn't have girls, we hear people apologizing for not having any toys for our daughter to play with. We often hear well meaning friends saying "I wish I had a lovely doll or a cute teddy bear for you to play with" , while we see our daughter cruising her way to the cars and trucks and wanting to see how they "go". As per school report, she had the most gala time when they got a visit from the local fireman who let the kids explore his truck. She is also girly enough to know the kind of clips to choose for the outfit she is wearing.Mauve doesn't match with pink shirt and navy blue can't be worn with turquoise blue. I am so looking forward to those girly nights and shopping blasts together!
When we came to United States I was amazed to see the women driving trucks, school buses and what not and I felt a liberated nerve that this must be one place on earth where men and women are at equal platform where there are no gender specific roles. What was I thinking, did I forget I was still on earth??? A little girl who plays with trains and cars doesn't fit in the definition that we as a society have outlined. I don't know if you have noticed, every kid's picture book has a girl teacher and a male sports coach. When the adventurous Dora became too popular, they had to come up with a male version Diego,why?

"Mamma, when I grow up I am going to cook yummy food like you and I will also be a train driver".

No body's house

On our last visit to India, besides having too much fun in our home town with the family, we also squeezed in a two day trip to the Pink City and as everyone suggested we stayed at Chokhi Dhani- an ethnic village resort. The concept is great, giving the experience of pastoral life. The brochure said "The right blend of tradition with modern amenities". For us, it turned out to be the blend of unhygienic toilets, beautiful village fair swamped by armies of mosquitoes, watching puppet show while covering our nose to keep the cow dung smell away, toilets with no water to wash hands and no towels in our rooms. The service was as rural as it could get, you ask for something and then just wait and wait and wait and wait and then you don't wait anymore, you go to the front desk to get what you wanted. RamramSa. Believe me, we really wanted to enjoy this but maybe we were not ready to give up the basics like clean water and air. I must say here that the front desk staff was superbly polite and helpful.
So anyways, while we were in our rooms at the resort, our preschooler posed a question. Mamma, whose house are we in? Oh honey, its no body's house, its a hotel. We are at No body's house Mamma? Ummmm, well, unn, I guess we can say that. Its no body's house coz its a hotel, people come here, pay money to stay and then leave and then someone else comes. And my mind was wandering in the thoughts that maybe that's why no one is bothered to provide any basic facilities because its no body's house so no one is answerable for anything.
Every time we talk about going on vacation, she says, oh we are going to be at no body's house for fun. I hope not honey!!

Red, Blue and White

Last in the Spirit Week series was Red, Blue and White Day. Children were to dress in clothes with those colors. The highlight of the day was "Make Your Own Sundae". Scooping vanilla ice creme all by yourself, as much as you like, decorating it with red,blue and white sprinkles on top, no other act can even come close to the excitement it generated. I ration every sweet she eats so while being excited about going to school in anticipation of getting ice creme, our preschooler wasn't too sure.Questions on the way to school were, So I will be eating Ice Creme at school? Is it healthy to eat Ice Creme? Will it make my teeth fall out? How much should I be eating? The best one was "I will tell Ms.E that Ice Creme isn't good for our health, its not food, its only a treat, so we should only eat it sometimes, so she should not make children eat Ice Creme at school" . Her sentences are so long that its hard to keep a track and I keep hoping that its going to end now,OK now, maybe now,......OK, NOW it should REALLY end!!!

Reading update

Without any prejudice I am off of Jane Austen's world favorite novel. No offence to anyone but I am settling down with my earlier opinion of it being a really the kind of literature I can't read. Every time I sat with it my mind went into slumber mode with big yawns and watering eyes. Well, I tried.
Now I am reading the chic lit bible Bridget Jones Diary, I know I know, its old and has already been made into a movie few years back. The thing is I have exhausted my favorite chic lit authors current books so I am having to look elsewhere and this novel is considered to be the one which started the era of chic lits. Its on my Kindle and about 100 pages later I am still loving it. More later.

Hat day.

In the series of Spirit Week at school Wednesday was Hat Day. Wear any hat you like to school and tell us why you made that choice. Our girl wore her Easter hat with a lovely dress. When asked to reason her choice she said I look so pretty in this and it keeps the sun away. Well that's fashion with a purpose!It’s amazing how everyone has a different taste and there were as many kinds of hats as were the kids! When we reached school, the teacher greeted us with a big smile saying, “ Look at you in your Sunday best!!” Not being Christians, the comment didn’t mean much to us but we get the idea ;-) At the end of the day, I was informed that everyone got tired of wearing the hats but my daughter had a firm NO for an answer when asked if she would like to remove it. At 12:30 pm she was the only one wearing a Hat.
On the ride back home, she said, “ Mamma Ms. K asked me to remove the hat if I want but it was hat day mamma, why would I take the hat off if it’s hat day at school”. Can’t argue with that honey. If its hat day, it should be a hat day.
Everyday is a hat day for me and every mom out there and we are never asked to explain the reason of our choice, though we do need to reason out if we dare to remove even one. Not that I am complaining, I get to be a chef, chauffeur, clown, cleaner, tear wiper, boo boo fixer and much more.
Which hat are you wearing today?

Pajama Day

Tuesday was Pajama day at school. Our preschooler went in her favorite night suit that Nani Ma gave her last time she visited India. All the way to school she kept asking me, “Why am I wearing pajamas and going to school, I don’t want to sleep there. Mamma did Ms. E told you, are you sure about it?” All the kids brought their loveys as well as blankies to lounge around and watch a Blue’s Clues sleepover movie while stuffing their little mouths with as much popcorn as it could take. When she was picked from school, one pigtail was loose, one intact and she was the loudest she has ever got. I loved the careless expression on her face that literally screamed, “I had fun”. All day at home, we kept on hearing “pajamas at school, that’s just silly” and roars of laughter, which just couldn't stop. Thanks to the wonderful teachers for letting the little ones what they love to be the most, Silly!

Mommylicious

Being so far away from family I miss everything about home, especially ma’s cooking. No matter what it is, it always tastes better when mum makes it, right from a simple cup of tea to an elaborate meal. Every one loves the food their mum brings to the table. Well, that sure does insure my food as a mom :-)
After I got married I got another ma, my lovable ma-in-law. She is an awesome cook but all I got was a double whammy of missing mum’s cooking multiplied by two!! She can cook in a jiffy, has ideas galore when we say things like we want to eat something but not fruit, not a meal but something really yummy. Everything that passes her hands in the kitchen gets injected with “tasteful ions” and we keep wondering what did she do to these simple ingredients!! I am a big fan of her “Aam ka Achar” (Mango Pickle) which cam be summed up as “simply heavenly”. It’s just the right mix of spices with only a touch of oil, the pieces are cut perfect triangles and when the jar is opened it fills the nose with an enticing aroma and pulls you to grab a plate and ask can I be first please!I don’t think there is any pickle in the market we haven’t tried and thrown away, no pickle can ever come close to what she makes.On our last visit we got a jar of her love and every time I relish it with my meals, I miss her even more.
I love you my moms.

Construction Time

Getting started with the blocks

Hey, there you go!

Hmmm, a train would be good.

Well, now people can come to office in the trains. Its important to be close to public transportation.

Hey where did the trains go?
Mamma!!Its construction time, I am making a road also, so people can come in the cars also. Trains have to wait as its not safe to be here at this time.

Hard at work

New York City, complete with trains, big buildings and roads.

See the long track, trains bring people from far away.

I had a great day constructing New York City. How was your day?

Darling Damsel

For past many months I have been trying to wheedle my preschooler to transition out from the crib to a normal bed. All our life together, which would be last three and a half years, all the battles of innocence and actuality have been bargained with reason. I am never afraid of her climbing out but every night it’s a quandary for me to fence her in as, seeing such prudence, I feel she should have every opportunity to come out or go in the bed when she feels right. But every time I brought the subject, she would say I love my crib. So past many weeks we have been having conversations about how she is growing up and can do things independently. And tonight was the big night, she is sleeping in the toddler bed and will be waking up in a place where she can open her room’s door and come to Mamma & Daddy for the morning hug :-)

Growing up is a very hard thing to do and its such a pleasure and pain for parents to witness the childhood unfolding and becoming a person who is trying to fit in the expectations of the world.

Pain of mind

Define.com defines, what else would it do, regret as " Pain of mind on account of something done or experienced in the past, with a wish that it had been different; a looking back with dissatisfaction or with longing; grief; sorrow; especially, a mourning on account of the loss of some joy, advantage, or satisfaction." I don't know if my mind is on board yet but my heart is intricately immersed and its hurting. My well wishers must be so concerned by now that what adversity has befallen on me. You can rest but not me coz I am kicking myself in the you know what every time I remember the day before my birthday when my sweetheart hubby took me shopping. I was my usual self or not because I refused to spend money on yummy leather handbag at Banana Republic. I totally forgot about it until I saw one girl carrying it in Boston downtown, holy schmoly, why didn't I jump over it with all my, ahem!! And now I want it!! And ebay isn't helping much.

Any "Pain of Mind" tugging at your heart today?

Prejudice?

I am an avid reader, reading brings me at ease,it plays with my mind, it lets see me be in places where I will never be physically. It helps me in escaping the mayhem of life and lets me be lost in another world. My mind visualises every scene while reading as clearly as watching a movie, that certainly makes me enjoy the book more but in fact it sometimes makes difficult to carry on when the scenes are too depressing!! It helps me get in the psyche of various characters and enables me with the spirit to understand the reasons for people's actions. Though I usually am not looking for reading buddies but anyone who respects my reading becomes my instant friend. There is one book which has been reccomended to me many a times by different people and even after getting it home from the library I didn't read it. I had a prejudice against it. Its written by Jane Austen and is a classic. I always thought it to be a book boring to the death of it. Pride and Prejudice.If you have read it, lets hear a review! I guess some book along the way, helped me break the barrier of who knows what and I have bought the Kindle edition and will be starting tonite.

What are you reading or breaking? Barrier that is!!

Sky Writing

Last night while I was busy cooking dinner, my preschooler came in the kitchen and started moving her finger in the air and had the biggest grin on her face! "Mamma, can you tell me what am I doing?" Hmmmm, it looks like you are trying to and before i could finish , she jumped, "I am writing with my finger Mamma!!" Hunh??! Writing? Well yes, see a, and there she began moving her finger in the air like using a pencil, half a circle and another half a circle right below it, do you know what I just made in the air Mamma? And before mamma could have the pleasure of deciphering the code, the pride in her jumped and said "I MADE NUMBER 3!!!!!" Wow! Incredible!Mamma, ok see now, one sleeping line and one standing line right below it ( Letter T)
and hey see one sleeping line, one little standing line and a semi circle below it (Number 5). We made lots of letters and all number 1 through 9 like this.
More than anything else I enjoyed the descriptions while she was at it.
I am flabbergasted by the fact that she is able to wow me everyday, is she doing something extraordinary or we are simply used to underestimating the little sprouts.

Circle Time - 3 Cs

Weekend is a time to relax and catch up with family who you seem to just pass by on your way out! Bye Honey, getting late again, see you later! Almost every preschool has a segment called "Circle Time" where every child gets an opportunity to share anything he feels like. I think we should start something like that at home to catch up!!
Whenever my preschooler feels she has done something fun, important or when she has earned lots of praises from us, she says she is gonna share it with Ms.E at circle time. She looks forward to it and almost everyday has something to blab about. The days when she is home with me, we don't do circle time for obvious reason of lack of enough people to make a circle!! But we do time bound activities and these days we are using crayons a lot. After being able to write the letters on the driveway she got really interested in finding more about them. And the girl just went on and on an on.

Circle it, color it...Letter A


Circle it, color it...Letter B



Circle it, color it...Letter C



Circle it, color it...Letter D



Circle it, color it...Letter E



Circle it!!



Color it!!



COMPLETED!!

Blink !

The book by Malcolm Gladwell that is, not your eyes honey!
Dear Husband is reading a book, yes he is becoming a reader it seems, thanks to Kindle and one of the features we really like is before buying a book, you can get a free sample of pages from the book and then decide if you want to purchase it or ignore it! Yesterday, we got a sample of Blink , the power of thinking without thinking. the author talks about the decisions we make in a snap with the current state of mind we are, which could be either Positive sentiment override or negative sentiment override. When in former, we tend to be more accommodating while being in the latter we attack, grrrr! So we were discussing the sample that hubby dear read who usually is in positive sentiment and it turned out that the discussion became a debate and both the parties involved couldn't override anything. After exhausting each other's sentiments, we called it a Sunday and went for shopping. And I think the author should have included this in the book that shopping is always a PSO, that is , Positive Sentiment Override!! Works for me, Perfect Shopping, override or not.

Whats your PSO?

The Launch Pad

Last week weather Gods were just being overly nice to us. It just doesn't happen to people living in this part of the country. We get showered with non stop rain, we get buried in snow, we are slathered with humidity but a perfect summer day is hard to come by. We got a few last week and that makes me think if we have already exhausted the yearly quota. So we took full advantage and tried to do everything outside, besides the things people don't want to see us doing outside.
A chalk comes handy to spend time outside with a preschooler and the driveway was the launching pad of my scholar. Human mind is so amazing, my part to get her started was to give the chalk box! She started by randomly drawing on the driveway


When I asked what are you making, she said I don't know mamma, lets see what it comes out to be!! Talk about an open mind, there is no dearth here! And then she asked me if I can help her make letters and we decided to give it a try on our launch pad.

Trying to write letter E


And here's the masterpiece!


Hey Mamma, what a big easle we have now I love it,:-). I love it too honey!

Unaccustomed?

I am not the kind of person who likes to stare at a screen and still get the reading pleasure. I don't count the things I read online as reading, I call it web surfing coz that's the only kind of surfing I can do in this lifetime. Reading an e-book, I am not gonna do that. I am never going to get that pleasure out of this Kindle thing , the pleasure that my books give. I need paper and not another screen. But here I am on my second day on Kindle and I am already a convert. I was in the camp of people who thought its over hyped and I am not one of its customers. But having a techie husband makes you try things that you otherwise wouldn't ever and many a times he has to accept "what was he thinking" but this was not those times. Technology got me once again!
Oh by the way, to start reading my first book, The Space Between US on it, I finished Unaccustomed Earth in one night flat. And who was that attending my reading's funeral ??

What are you bragging about today?

Kindle your passion

So people who know me know my love for reading and my husband knows it way too well. He used to gift me books of 400 pages or so and would write inside "Hoping to keep you entertained for a while" but then at the end of three or so days I would say I have nothing to read :-). All done with that one? yes, all done with that one.Thats our usual conversation around my reading habit. But lately, I am getting too engrossed in "Being a mom" role and all I am doing is planning activities for our preschooler or doing those activities with her. So Husband dear asked me few nights back how come he doesn't see me reading much these days.You used o read so much , you love books so much, I love it that you read but now it ain't happening much. I read! Like what? Parenting magazine and ummmm I have a book half way through, Unaccustomed Earth and yes it is a great book but I am not getting around it.
So anyways darling, my birthday is coming up and I was thinking , and I am thinking ok by bringing up my love of books he was trying to make a case for something that he wants me to gift him on his birthday. Ok mister, I got ya. Spill it. What is it that you want, I would have given it even if you didn't embarrass me by telling that my reading id dying!!Hunh, so much for love these days!

Kindle, I want Kindle on my birthday. Its a cool new electronic reading device by Amazon. Now I understand that every guy out there loves electronics the way girls love handbags. They want the best and the latest. But I am preplexed here becuase he doesn't even read paper so why is this on his wishlist? Hey, you don't read, incase you missed that part! I am not gifting you a $400 electronic thingy just to brag about! Now see there comes the love that I could not see. No, I want it for you to have it on my birthday!!!! It would give me so much pleasure that my wifey is using the latest technology all the while "kindling" her passion of reading. Its techinically for me coz I want latest tech in my house but you will use it coz you are a reader. Serves both of us.

I should have said no coz its his birthday and he should gt a present but I should give my husband what he asks for atleast on his birthday, call it greed justfied and we ordered it and its arriving today. Oh by the way, his birthday is still two months away!!

I love to be loved so much!!

Any of you out there is a Kindle User?

I am bloated today

Oh yes, bloated as in like a big fat balloon but I am not looking for a remedy. Bloating makes me happy, very happy coz I am bloated with pride. Past saturday, I was in the New England Aquarium with Saumya. We cruised our way through the sharks, sea urchins, blue frogs, electric eels. By the way, this aquarium happens to house the biggest turtles I have ever seen, they are called Sea Turtles. Like a good , ifnormation sharing guide, I was telling my 3 and a half year old daughter that they are called "Sea Turtles", now keeping in mind her age and the "why" phase she is going through, I was expecting the questions she came up. "why are they "See Turtles"?" Ahem.....but before I say because they live in the sea , she said oh because we can SEE them!! Well after spending 2 hours walking through the dark giant rooms I was not in the mood to explain a difference of SEA and SEE right then. So like a polite audiance I soaked in the joke and laughed and laughed my way out the aquarium :-)
Now we were in the store trying to find something nice. We picked up a puzzle with a minimum age of 5 coz I didn't find anything else which was meaningful to spend $15 on.
Saumya was very excited about the puzzle and wanted to do it the moment we reached back home. We were all so exhausted and were trying to look for excuses but hey a moment later I heard her "Mamma I got it, I am already doing it" !!!!! Hello its a puzzle for a kid who is more then 5 years old and you are 3 and a half. I went to watch her and then I just kept on watching the progress.
Its a mosaic puzzle with very tiny faom squares cut in the squares. They need to be pasted on a picture which has squares on it and the faom colors are number coded. Squares with number one will have red pieces, number 2 orange, 3 yellow, 4 blue, 5 green, 6 purple and 7 black. No one explained her all this. She opened the box, figured all the pieces and turned the box a few time which had the color chart and got going!





The workstation.




Very Busy




Fish, one part done. She spent one whole Sunday doing this. Love the dedication. It still needed the water part around the fish but it was time for bed.



Monday morning, first thing after the bath. The fish needs water or it will die :-)

Proud Girl!!

Oh My, Its a Duck!!

This post is coming after a long break! We were in our homeland for a month and had the best time with family. Saumya grew up a lot there. Of course she is growing up anywhere she is but being surrounded by extended family for days at length made her feel important all the while going through a learning roller coaster.

These days she is showing interest in drawing. with no plan on what to make, she picks up a crayon and goes on making and commenting on the go "Hunh, oh it needs eyes, oh my how will it walk without legs let me give you legs, they will be orange, nice and bright, hey I made a duck"!!!!