From Mercury To Pluto

Once my little daughter, when she was 4 years old, told me how God and a mother are related. Her point of view though precious, did pose a lot of questions to me. When we are little children we see our parents as absolutes, as irrefutable entities. If my mother said so, it has to be true, if my dad can't do it no one can. Parents are given an unparalleled position, a supreme pedestal by the little ones and these rudimentary souls hold indestructible trust that whatever parents say or do is beyond question. Its one of the purest form of human emotions. Such kind of love and trust is nowhere to be seen, never in any other relationship. Why? And why does this relationship of a parent and child change? 
             When a child is born, she is at the mercy of her parents to survive. They feed her, clean her, comfort her, they provide for her in every possible way she needs them and then some more. The child starts growing and though very little, her mind is taking shape with the influx of information that is obviously in favor of the parent. I cried, they fed me. I cried, they swaddled me. I cried, they cleaned me. I cried, they held me. I cried, they talked to me. Whenever the child wants, we give. All the childhood years, this process goes on. And the parents enjoy doing this because their actions are never questioned, never investigated by the child. There is no doubt it's a laborious task but a very gratifying one!! Parents are in control of the situation, they have complete authority and the child displays a sense of security while being in their company. It's a harmonious system of give and take, where one gives and the other takes. But as the child grows, she gets exposed to the outside world. There are other people, other places, and other experiences outside home that influence the flourishing mind. And the shift begins. The child develops a mind of his own which does not take things as absolutes, a mind which questions everything and does not follow rules simply because mama said so. The progressing mind asks for reasons and also starts to question his parent's beliefs and values.  The child isn't just an unassuming, compliant sole anymore. The parents, who became so habitual of being on the supreme pedestal that their child honored them with in the early years, become nervous. This inquisition makes them uneasy.
                          Few days ago, we were in the car, going out for casual family fun and my little one said "Mama, I love you" This verbal display of love isn't out of the ordinary for her, she says it only about 10 or 15 times a day. I was reading something and responded with a nod and a "Umhum" and then she said "Mama, I love you from Mercury to Pluto" ..................Honestly, my heart skipped a beat. To say that I was ecstatic would be an understatement but more than that I was afraid. Her words grabbed my heartstrings and pulled on them as if asking "Are you ready to take the pain, are you strong enough to bear the heartache?" 
       Not that I believe that once we grow up, we stop loving our parents but our opinion about them does change. They don't get to say the last word, we learn that they always don't know what's best for us, we mature enough to acknowledge that if dad can't do, somebody else can. Because of our growth as an individual, our own set of ideas, our own perception of right and wrong, all that shapes us as an independent entity and separates us from the whole, we become capable of looking at our parents as normal, regular people. We are able to expect mistakes from them, our wisdom helps us unload from them the burden of being "supreme beings" and in a way this should bring a sigh of relief to parents but it does exactly the opposite. To the parents, that absolute, never questioning, unconditional love of the child seems to travel from Mercury to Pluto, from burning hot to freezing cold. The parent child relationship changes. For the "all in power parent" its hard to relinquish that predominant position that the child bestowed them with. 
                              Looking at my relationships, I am not the same with my parents. I love them even more than when I was a child, for now I understand their struggles as well as their little joys but I can also analyze their actions and can perceive the mistakes they made, things they could have done better or not. And history has a tendency to repeat itself, life has a penchant of coming to a full circle which brings me back to my fear. I am afraid to lose that shining pedestal, the glory of being the first in my child's life, the powerful feeling of knowing the right thing all the time.
                     But when I ponder a little more, I believe as a parent I need to remember that there will be a time when  my child will experience life on her own and I won't be a part of every peak and valley she goes through. The years I spend with her while standing at the podium will make memories forever but there will be time to handover the podium to her. And her love will travel back and forth between Mercury and Pluto but I need to stay grounded on earth and not melt in the heat or freeze in the frigidity of that love.