Have you filled a bucket today?

Last night we were in the middle of rituals, yes we are very ritualistic when it comes to bedtime. Brushing teeth, flossing teeth and reading a bedtime story and then showering each other with kisses and hugs before we embark our journey to dreamlands. Every single night, no matter how tired I am or how tired is Saumya or how late we are, we have to do this, have.to.do.this. Sometimes daddy gets to join in too and those are delightful days for him. So about last night, after all the rituals, I turned off light in the room and was about to say goodnight and a little soft voice chirped "Mama, can you please lie down for few minutes with me" Both of us, in bed, looking at each other and smiling, just simply being quiet and smiling and the little voice said

"Mama you are filling my bucket so much that its spilling all over"

Her teacher read a book to the class "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?" It tells that everyone has an invisible bucket and when we treat others nicely we fill their bucket and we fill our own. When we are mean to others we empty other's buckets along with ours. This resonates with the golden rule "Treat others as you would want them to treat you" If I empty your bucket, mine gets empty too or rather if I fill yours, mine gets filled up too. And how do I do it? With my deeds and positive actions. It also stimulates the thought process that in order to be happy, we need to think of others. When we are considerate of others, when we treat everyone around us nicely, we get the same in return. 

So how did I fill your bucket Saumya? 

"By driving me home, by making food for me, by giving me a bath, by ironing my clothes and with all the kisses! "

"By expressing this, you are filling my bucket Saumya!"

I am so using it next time we are in a store...honey buy me that handbag, it will fill my bucket and yours too!! Don't you worry about that empty wallet, just look at that bucket sweetheart!! Muaahhhhaaaaa *evil laughter* 

Just kidding!!

I came out of her room beaming. My bucket was full. 

We can ladle positive thoughts into other's buckets by reaching out to someone without them asking, by complimenting them, spreading love. One of my dear friends filled my bucket today, and hers, by surprising me with boxes full of laboriously made food, when she came to know I was sick. And seeing this bucket filling action of hers, Saumya said "Mama, now we need to make some of her favorite foods and deliver to her house so we also get a chance to fill her bucket. And ours too!!" 

And whenever anyone of us misbehaves, yes mommies misbehave too many  at times, we say "you are emptying your bucket and mine too!!"

Handbags or no handbags, we acknowledge the bucket filling as well.

Have you filled a bucket today?

Udaipur : Photo essay

Aravali Mountains, view form our hotel.

I was so amused by this, a proper hindi word "Kaarya" along side "Chalu" ;-)

 Udaipur is home to beautiful gates in various part of the town.

 I was so happy to see signboards everywhere. Haathipole is shopper's paradise in Udaipur.

 The ever famous Chetak Circle. No matter where you want to go, you go through Chetak Circle!

 Entrance to City Palace.

 The Majestic Palace.

 Jharokha (window) from where the kings could see the whole city. Love the architecture.

 Jharokha that opened int he courtyard, its a window for the women residing in the palace to view the performances in the held courtyard. Pretty, isn't it? No matter how pretty, I would have not liked to be segregated like that!

 Elephant! I love the decorated elephants of Rajasthan and this was no exception.

 You thought you could take an exit without seeing Chetak again?
This was a wonderful place to visit. Udaipur enamored with its charm, with small bikes and auto rickshaws that could go just about anywhere! City palace had lovely architecture but left me wanting for more. Living in a palace is so enchanting but after seeing queen's room about a quarter mile away from the king's and that he would send a messenger with a paan (betel leaf) to let the queen know that he wants to see her alone, I loved coming back home! Our life is so much better without all those distances and middlemen!

And this lady took my breath away......!!

Reading Race

                                                 Books I checked out from the library

Books Saumya checked out from the library

Tired Of Doing Those Chores?

After Saumya comes home from, our usual routine revolves around talking about her day, my day and then she chooses some work to do while I make dinner. Few days back I did Saumya's laundry but didn't get a chance to take the basket to her room. Upon seeing the basket spilling clothes and her favorite teddy, she said, "Mamma, you washed everything today, Thank you" She does this every time I wash her clothes and her gesture does make me think that I have never thanked my mom for washing my clothes. Yes I was a brat like that but one day, this recognition from my 5 year old, made me call mom the very next day to say thanks for everything she has done for me. Better late than never! It did feel good but mum really couldn’t understand the fuss. Back to the laundry though, she requested me to put her clothes on her bed so she can sort them.  I never thanked my mom for her laundry services and I make my five-year-old put away her own laundry. How mean? If only my mom made me participate in chores like this, I would have also realized back then how much work all this is and would have also learnt to thank her along with many other people who made sure I get things when I need them!!  Oh wait, this certainly doesn't sound the way I mean it to, now I come across as if I am saying I am a better mother than my own mom. Yikes! 

Instead of wandering aimlessly let's go back to our laundry, yet again. Saumya took a long time sorting her clothes, making separate piles for socks, tights, leggings, shirts, dresses, undergarments, night suits, pants...I just went back to the kitchen hoping she finishes by dinner time. Once dinner was ready, I called her to come downstairs so we could eat and what I hear back is this "Mamma, I will take more time because I am organizing my drawers"

"Which drawers?"

"I am organizing my sock drawer, undergarments drawer, and legging drawer. It becomes very hard to find things"

Ahem. Gulp. Ahem. I frantically started organizing stuff in the kitchen drawers, you can call it parental pressure, err, a habit that runs in the family.  And a thought just kept on hitting me "As a parent I am supposed to set a good example for my child and here I am learning from my daughter's example" Was I embarrassed? Not one bit! In fact, I was a happy mom in those moments, taking pride in the environment we provide her at home, in perfect marriage to what she gets at her Montessori school, that is helping her develop a sense of order, a sense of responsibility and an appreciation for the effort that people around us put in everyday mundane chores. 

Saumya came downstairs with a big sigh of relief, a face shining with satisfaction and beaming with self proud. Getting ready for school is a tad easier when we are not going berserk looking for a pair of socks that match. And because she organized it, she makes every effort to keep it that way.  I checked off another thing from "everyday to do" list, I do not make Saumya's bed. Yeah, life is sweet by not doing stuff. No really, I strongly believe in "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" , what it means is we can only help someone so far and self reliance is the key to survival. Being able to go through one's day independently boosts a person's confidence and shows him enormous possibilities of things he can achieve. Each parent gets to hear this in early childhood years "Don't do it for me, teach me do it myself" And we don't cater to this desire of self dependence, we get brats like me who do not care to thank their mom for doing their laundry. First few days Saumya didn't care and just went back to the "unmade" bed. My signals seemed to go nowhere but one day, while she was at school I prettied up the bed in our room, changed the sheets and the bedspread with the fancy ones to make a statement, to make it look different than usual, to get it noticed. Upon return, she immediately noticed and commented, "Your bed looks pretty, how do you do it so nicely?" "Yes, I am good at it because I have been practicing it every morning" She went straight to her room and few minutes later, she comes back jumping with joy "I have a surprise for you, close your eyes and hold my hand and walk to my room" Tadaaaaaaaaa! The unmade bed got made, comforter neatly tucked in from all the sides. The trick worked! Every morning before heading downstairs for breakfast, she makes her bed. 

 Doing her laundry is a pleasure now. Are you saying “yeah right!!” ? But really, all I  do is bring the clothes to the laundry room and Saumya put them in the washer, I put the detergent and then she puts them in the dryer and then I bring them back to her bed which I didn't even make and still be a proud mother *evil laughter* muaahhahahaha!!

Now only if I can take care of my own sock drawer, life would be perfect.


image courtesy : google images

No batteries required

If you have little kids at home there are very good chances that you have various kinds of batteries stocked up. Every little toy we see on the store shelves needs batteries. Either I am too old or too slow because this whole electronic toy phenomenon has failed to catch up with me. Shoes that light up, trees that speak, flowers that squeak, soft toys that talk, dolls that light up when wave a wand, tea kettle that sings songs when you pour tea, bowling pins that shriek when hit all. a story reader that reads to the child. Is it really better for the child to listen to an electronic voice reading to it rather than a parent or a sibling sharing the book and making lifelong memories?  I miss the days when dress up fun was not limited to Disney princesses and pirates, when pretend play included being real day to day people like a mom, a dad, a doctor, a teacher, a mailman, a carpenter, a builder but today you are not a builder, you are Bob the builder and your tools talk to you and your imagination can take a backseat because all you have to do is follow the show. Why? What are we trying to do?

 Is it really better to score another level on Wii, rather than be out in the yard and smell the air, touch the grass, feel the mud, observe the birds and know the neighbors?  Is it really more gratifying to listen to the beeps and sounds of battery operated kitchen set which make "real" frying sound rather than being with mom and dad in the actual kitchen and take part in rolling the bread, chopping the vegetables, sharing stories of your day, making a mess and eating a real meal at the end of it?  So many disapprove the idea of the little ones cleaning their table after a meal, or picking up crumbs using a dust pan but are so delighted to buy them a toy vacuum cleaner that has eyes and nose and a mouth to talk.  Kids, like grownups, want to be able to do real things in real world rather than just pretend. Maria Montessori helped us understand that individual behavior is shaped through interaction with the environment i.e. learning through experience or 'experiential learning', which means learning by doing, learning through effort and action and gaining satisfaction and pleasure. Imagination gets fostered when we are in real situations and interact with real life.  No batteries required.

Do we need Women's Day

Some ask me why do we need Women's day, why not celebrate being a woman throughout the year. If you think like that, I would say you are from the lucky lot. We as a society have come a long long way in terms of women's progress but there is no way we can say that every woman on the globe has equal rights and is not a victim because of being a female. This is a day to review and look back at our struggle for equality and development. If we see the corporate world, companies boast gender equality policies but on average women receive about 40 % less compensation than men for the same work. 

I am so glad to be a woman in 2010 as opposed to say 40 years back when women were largely expected to be docile and could only demonstrate her knowledge and skill in the kitchen.  Everyday, in normal households, a sister is expected to cook and clean while her brother goes out to play, daughter in laws are expected to eat last, after the men in the family. And still a women’s worth clings to her womb, as they say "motherhood completes a woman", What is an incomplete woman??? And then, is there something that completes a man? Oh wait, that is never the question. Boy's mother is superior to girl's mother, so the latter has to keep trying to produce a boy to make her position. At a wedding, words from groom's parents cannot be ignored while bride's parents need to quietly serve.  Till the time all this looks appropriate to our society, there is a need for women's day.

 Till the time our wish lists look like this I wish ,  and till the time, our society doesn't see us beyond our gender, we would need women's day. 

Happy Holi!!

We celebrated Holi a day before because for us who are away from India, its a working day! And we had great fun making yummy gujiyas, shakarpares, dahi gujiya (stuffed bhalle) and aloo puri. Hope you all have a colorful holi and may all your stomachs bloat with fried food! Holi Hai!!

                          HOLI HAI!!!

Sharply Thoughtful

I know I know, I said blogging will be sporadic and it turned out to be non existent. Well that's what India vacation is all about, it is not supposed to have days with schedules and routines!! But we are back and so is blogging. My birthday came during our vacation in India and it was a day full of fun and cheers and the night ended with the whole family singing Happy Birthday tunes. There were many highlights of the day but the one that went straight to the heart and etched itself there, was from one and only, Saumya. She was at my brother's place, enjoying with her cousins, till a day before my birthday. I picked her up on my birthday eve so we  are together on birthday morning. She was a bit reluctant to come with me, well its always hard to part when you are having too much fun, or so I thought. On the birthday morning I got a handmade card from her, which she secretly made, I don't know when.

I kept on going ga- ga over this fact that how my 5 year old made a card for me, without me ever knowing about it. Nothing could top it off for the day!
And then around 6 pm, I got a call from my brother and he wanted to speak with Saumya.So I give her the phone but she isn't talking. I ask her why and she says "Mamma can you please go away to another room so I can take this call"
I almost fell off the chair!! But I politely obliged thinking she is just trying to be like me. But this phone calls goes on for whole 10 minutes, well what are these guys talking about and this chatterbox who, for the love of god, cannot talk softly on phone, is almost whispering. So any call, at around 8 pm, my mom and brothers and their families come over to celebrate with us. And instead of greeting me, they find Saumya and after hush hush tones and awkward movements, my 5 year old comes to me with a twinkle in her eyes, the prettiest little smile on her face and a little gift pack in her hands and says "Happy Birthday Mamma, this is for you, from me" I was still trying to take it all in and she said "Open it, open it now!" And so I open it and I find a "vegetable peeling knife" and I am trying to find a reason for that choice, the little voice chirps "Mamma, remember you and me went to TJ Maxx and there was a pretty peeling knife and I asked you to please buy it, though you said it doesn't look safe, I still requested you to buy it because it was so pretty and you did. Do you remember mamma?"
"Unhun, I do remember but......
"Yes, but when you used it, you cut your finger, it injured you and you had to throw it. So that is why I wanted to give you a peeling knife that is safe for you. Happy Birthday Mamma"
Deeply immersed in emotions, my heart almost sank with the thought that this tiny little person  held herself responsible for that little scrape on my finger because she asked me to buy that peeler.
This little soul, requested my brother to buy a peeler when he goes out shopping, so she can gift it to me. I think I need to check the year she was born , yet one more time.
Until today, I have not started using it, I just want to keep it forever and ever. It's the sharpest gift I ever got :-)