What is my religion?
I have a God and have a very personal relationship with Him. The idea of a pundit, priest or a pujari to help me get to My God doesn't work with me. This is one place where the middlemen doesn't stand a chance with me. I don't need to wake my god with bells of a temple or by doing holy fires or by cooking the priest prescribed food for Him. I can talk to Him whenever I want and need to. For me, It's like picking up the phone and start talking to your buddy. To me He is always reachable. I share my happiness with Him and I do not forget to tell Him when he mess up.
My Religion
1. Doesn't empower me to judge the way others communicate with God. It's the way they find Him.
2. Does not depend on rituals. Once I was advised by well meaning aunt to start offering water to Shiva. The temple was very close to our house, the Almighty was just a few steps away! With all reluctance I began the process of going to the temple every Monday and offering water. While pouring water down the Deity, all I could see was water going down the drain and just kept on wondering who is getting benefited by this wasteful act of mine? Aunt said it would please the God. And my questioning self was not able to justify how an act of wasting a precious resource, for which, in most parts of India, people line up to fill their buckets but still go home empty handed, would make God happy? I could not find my God that way.
I am unable to reach my God when I have to follow directions set by others, whether it is covering my head, using only a stainless steel dish, throwing only "a pair" of cloves in fire, or a simple task of first sprinkling water and then offering mithai to the idol or taking off my slippers. In this labyrinth of directions and rules I just lose contact with the God, who is mine. When I do participate in such rituals to fit in the norms of society it seems a mockery on my part. I feel disconnected from Him and my mind just wanders off to other things and just wait in anticipation of getting to be done with it. The rites and rituals bother me, they offer no meaning to me, they put pressure on me, a pressure to perform and perform it right. It makes me feel small, smaller than the person who has decided for me these ways of connecting with God. I feel nearest to God when I get to celebrate festivals my way, I do not bother others, mind just my own business and do not poke in others lives and when I close my eyes I can ask Him, how are things for Him too!!
And in the eyes of others I become a non religious person. Really? Why? Is religion only valid if I follow the rituals?
