Everyday Musings

Go on, judge me

2011-07-12T18:57:00.000-04:00

So the scene was something like this:
Me and my 6 year old were in the grocery store, in the dairy aisle to be precise, in the yogurt section to be very precise and were having a discussion on which yogurt to buy. I was looking for certain brand and the little one was asking me to buy whatever was available. It was a Sunday night, around 6 pm. Another family , a young couple with a little one, about 2 or little older , was "trying" to just go through the ordeal. Their little one was not happy sitting in the cart and none of them was ready to pick her up. We all know how it is sometimes. The crying sound was full on in the background but we were least bothered. Its a little baby you know, either they make you smile or they shriek! So back to us. My 6 year old was telling me to just buy whatever is there and stop looking for that certain brand and I was going on about how I like the taste and texture better of that certain brand. An elderly woman comes up to me and asks "Well who is the parent here?" Though I wanted to say Well what do you know lady, I can totally use being a child right now. I would love to just throw a tantrum, its been a while. I want a certain yogurt and I won't settle for anything else. Wouldn't that have been fun!! But all I did say was "Ummm, I guess that would be me!!" And she says "Oh no, I am talking about them, the ones with the crying baby. Who in their right mind, on a Sunday night at dinner time, would bring a little one to the grocery store. My mom never did that, I never did that. And then people like these wonder why they have such restless kids. Why couldn't one of them stay home with the baby. I just don't understand. "
Wow, really? No, I mean really?
I don't know why but this reminded me of a certain facebook status by a friend few months back that read
"Dear Mother-in-law,
Don't teach me how to handle my children.. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement...!"
Ouch that must hurt!!
What I really wanted to say was "Precisely Madam, you are being so judgemental because you don't understand. Maybe you have forgotten how is it being a parent, how you sometimes as a couple just want to be together, crying baby in the tow or not! How everyone has situations only they know about, how its just so easy to feel all righteous and pass remarks on young parents and be very smug about it." But all I did say was "...............", that's right, I just drew a blank and ignored her, part of the reason was my 6 year old was rambling about how we should just get what is available and not make a fuss about that certain brand. I tell ya, so many times this parenting thing just totally backfires and hits where it hurts the most. I was waiting for the store guy to go and check for me if they have some in stock in the back room and my daughter was going on and on about how my being so particular about a thing is making us waste time! The frigid temps in the dairy isle weren't helping either. And to top it off, the wise elderly woman was following me like a hawker on the street. Damn all I am asking for is my yogurt!!

Marriage : Obligatory or Voluntary?

2011-03-23T14:57:00.001-04:00

IHM , my friend, you just woke me up from my deep blog slumber! Here’s what I have to say to your question...Is marriage an over rated institution???

I would nod with an emphatic yes to that question. It is presented as a win win situation though...so let's see what a girl wins in the equation.

In India, girls tend to lose more than they gain by being married. Right when the ceremonies begin, it is an unspoken truth that no matter what the boy's side does and asks for, the girl's side has to comply. The start of the relationship happens at an unequal footing. nahi beta, wo ladkey wale hain

Once the newlywed girl reaches her in-laws home, the only words that she can use are "Haan ji" (which would loosely translate to "as you say' in this situation), utter anything else and she can be the talk of the town for being such a badtameez (manner less and arrogant). She should know that girls, especially when they become bahus, don't have a right to have an opinion, much less express it!!

So there goes your basic freedom of speech.

The daughter in law will be told what can she wear and what colors can it be. She has to wear bindi, has to wear bangles, cannot wear jeans, and can’t even think of skirts. Up until now, she has been dressing up in crap and by being married, she has got an army of designers, Lucky her! that includes her MIL, FIL and basically everyone with an in-law suffix. They all know what will work. And she has to comply, otherwise, you got it right, she is arrogant.

And there goes the basic freedom of dressing up.

Though she is the one who is new in a family, the onus of keeping everyone happy rests on her and she needs to remember in laws are super easy to offend. Wake up when you want to, someone gets offended. Talk to your mom on the phone, someone gets offended. Don't cook and offend the whole family!!

Sky can fall if she expresses the urge to see her side of the family. If she needs to go out with friends, permission needs be sought from in laws. And the in laws are very nice if they say yes, plus she is considered very lucky.

Hence goes a basic freedom to living your life.

Where is the guy? Did he change his wake up time just because he got married? Did he change the way he dresses? Did he change his social behavior? Did he forgo seeing his parents on a certain festival because he has to be with the girl's parents?

A girl is raised with one single goal and that is to get married and stay married. Learn to cook, not because it’s a good skill to have to be able to feed yourself but to get married. The ultimate goal of a girl's life is expected to be to please others and aspire for their approval. All in all its lose lose situation for girls. If they chose to not to get married (as if they can!) the society always looks at them in demeaning ways. If she does get married (as if there is a choice) society has all the tools to rob her of basic freedoms. And lo and behold, if she dares to speak up and gets out of a bad marriage and gets a divorce, she is looked down upon as the one who was on the wrong side. She should have adjusted, she should have just used her inner strength to over look the all the problems and be in that relationship for the sake of others.

People say marriage isn't between two individuals but between two families, I would tweak this statement with one word and say that "A wedding is between the families but marriage is between two individuals" Wedding is a ceremony where all can have fun but a marriage is a relationship, a life that a man and a woman lead afterwards. It takes a lot of effort to make any marriage work but this work needs to take place between the husband and wife. Like any relationship, a marriage needs two individuals who look at each other as companions, I love how this quotes puts things in perspective “Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one" If anyone, girl or boy, is expected to just lose their own self to make a marriage work, its totally not worth it. How can a person be not themselves and be expected to be happy and furthermore raise happy kids?

If getting married wasn't such a big deal, girls would have a better chance at life. Female infanticide wouldn't be there because no parent would be worried about the burden of dowry, life would not be a gamble for their daughters, there daughter's happiness would not depend on some other family. If getting married wasn't the ultimate goal for girls, parents would not see money spent on their education as waste, because who knows if her future family would allow her to work, also they wouldn't be worried about saving every penny for her dowry. They will be able to use that same money for better things like their own retirement, her education. Parents would have the freedom of raising their girls with a normal childhood, with the goal of shaping up a strong individual and not a "perfect daughter in law" or "some one's wife" Domestic violence would be tackled much easily if the girl knows that in order to appear normal she doesn't need to stay married. Undue advantage is taken just because of this known fact that she can't raise a voice because society expects her to stay married and appear happy.

Institution is a noun and as someone rightly said marriage is a verb. It isn't something you get, it's something you do. It's the way you live your life everyday with your partner. But if you insist it being an institution then, I say, as with any other institution, admission should be optional and not required. Everyone should get married if they want and not because they are expected to.

Happy Karvachauth

2010-10-26T09:36:00.000-04:00

We were greeted this morning by our daughter with this artwork on our kitchen wall!!

Artist: Saumya
Description as given by the artist: Moon is visible from our dining room window. Daddy is standing with a platter of puas (we eat them at moon rise to break our fast). Mama is smiling, looking pretty in a Saree and Saumya is all ready seated to have dinner. Happy Karvachauth!

Want To Help?

2010-10-18T15:59:00.001-04:00

Our 5 year old was carrying a big heavy puzzle box to put away and the box broke while scattering all the pieces on the floor.
Saumya: Oh Oh!
Me: What happened?
Saumya: It all fell down.
I jumped down on the floor and started putting the pieces back in the box. To which she said
"If you want to help me, just leave the pieces on the floor. I know how to put them in the box"
And I tip toed back to where I was.
Ahem.

The Storyteller

2010-08-19T13:45:00.000-04:00

Every night, Saumya, our 5 year old tries to find ways to keep awake for just few more minutes. That is the time when she would ask questions that would need long answers. She knows her parents love to satisfy her curiosity, so it works pretty well in her favor. I only end up realizing her tactic in the middle of my answers :-)

After the story time tonight, she offered to tell me a story but "with no book, mama, it will be my own story", the parent in me wanted to say no to maintain discipline while the curious parent in me was so eager to listen. Obviously the curiosity won over discipline like every other night!!

So here goes a story made by her in "own" words.

The Cow and The Crow

Once there was a crow and a cow.

The crow was sitting on a tree branch and was saying "Cow Cow!! Cow Cow!!"

So the cow got up from the grass and walked over to the tree where this crow was sitting and asked , "Yes, what is it? Why did you call me?"

Crow was surprised and said , " Well I didn't call you!!"

Cow looked upset and said , "You were just yelling Cow Cow, weren't you?"

Crow said with a smile, "That's the way I talk you silly!!"

And the crow laughed and while saying cow cow he flew away from the tree branch and the cow just stood there wondering.

The End.

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes

2010-07-02T11:38:00.000-04:00

My blog guru Indian Home Maker has started this fun fun tag which has created a storm on the blog world with everyone tagging each other with it! I have been tagged by the guru herself as well as Smitha. The tag is called ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’. And you must tag twelve blogging friends or else you will be cursed to wear blue clothes pants if you are a woman and pink shirts if you are a man – for next twelve years.
Though I love color blue and really no matter how much you love a color you don't want to wear the same thing for 12 years!! So here we go with my sins......

I have been told by many 'traditional' people "bilkul ladkon wala utsaah hai" (she has the zeal and excitement of a boy)
I love driving
I would rather read than gossip.
I do not like the parties where men and women just want to sit in separate areas. My idea of party is not gossip and recipe sharing.
I can troubleshoot my appliances, computers and phones on my own.
I really enjoy and look forward to having beer and wine. (ghor paap!!)
I am the appointed bug killer at home and I feel good about it!
I do not like chocolates.
I do not like stories about princesses.
I enjoy turning around furniture all over the house. Many a times, husband comes home to find the whole setup changed.
I have a much better sense of direction than many men I know.
being docile isn't my cup of tea.
Do not like to watch soaps on TV, my favorite channel is National Geographic and Discovery.
I am the first one to get ready in our family.
I enjoy reading instructions and assembling things.
Doing pujas is not my thing at all, I would do anything to avoid them.

It seems I got so late picking up the tag because everyone around seems to have been tagged already.

I tag

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T09:48:00.000-04:00

I Do!!!

If You Cook ...........

2010-06-16T18:29:00.000-04:00

If you cook Aloo Gobhi for dinner,
   the family will probably want Paranthas to go with it
If you give them Paranthas,
   they might ask for Boondi Raita with it,
If you give them Boondi Raita,
   you will have too many bowls, along with the pan, plates and spoons, to put in the dishwasher.
If you put all the dishes in the dishwasher,
   you will have to clean the sink and the counter and then unload that dishwasher.
If you unload the dishwasher,
   you will have empty dishes.
Along with those empty dishes, people who ate that Aloo Gobhi with Paranthas and Boondi Raita,
   will be back for more Subzi Roti.
And chances are if you give them more food,
   they will ask for more things to go with it.
If you give them more things to eat
   There will be more dirty bowls and plates,
If there are more dirty dishes,
   It will lead you to the dishwasher again.

   So I decided not to cook and let these people eat cereal for dinner.

Inspired by children's book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie

Shopping For A Mama?

2010-06-15T11:46:00.003-04:00

Last Week I was out an about, hopping from store to another finishing my errands. In one of the stores, a duo of a mother and a son were shopping. The little guy was about 5 or 6 years old, sitting in the front of the shopping cart and like any other normal child, bombarding his mother with questions about whatever he could lay his eyes on!
   Mom, why are you looking at that shoe? Mom, would you buy me that? Mom, how long will we stay here? Mom, why did you try on that hat? Mom, what's in that box?The mother was doing a great job of going about her business while answering his questions with words requiring the least effort like Yes, No, Unhun and an occasional "Don't do that". I am guessing the little boy wanted more than that as a response, maybe that's the reason he asked his next question.
   "Mom, are you really my mom?"          !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was well within an earshot and along with many others customers in the store, just couldn't help smiling at this question. But surprisingly the mother in question answered this too very peacefully with a simple Yes in the very same tone she was answering his other questions! The little guy, maybe hoping for more fodder for communication, went a step further and asked
                                                          "Are you sure?"
!!!!!! Whoa, or so I thought!! This woman has patience of iron it seems, she again said Yes and went about her business of looking at pretty jewelery in the store. But the little guy took a big leap this time, his finger straight pointing at me, yes me (!!!!!) and asked
                                "Why isn't that pretty lady my mom?"
  Ahem....Gulp!!
Everyone around just couldn't keep their laughs under their breath anymore and one very old woman, grinning from ear to ear, asked the mother "Did he really ask that?!!"
The mother was now agitated (finally) and while mouthing a 'sorry' to me, she said to him "Because I gave birth to you and not that pretty lady"

What did the little guy say upon hearing his mothers response

"Damn Mom!!!"

I am not sure if that woman or me, are going back to that store anytime soon!!

Answer This!!

2010-06-13T17:56:00.001-04:00

Mother and daughter as in Myself and Saumya, were sharing a delicate bonding moment together with her head on my shoulders while I was gently rubbing my hand on her back, swaying from side to side and just when I was about to close to my eyes, get absorbed in that beautiful moment, the little girl picked her head up from my shoulder, looked me in the eye and asked :

"Mama, how come you decided that you are not going to make any more babies?"

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-09T13:40:00.000-04:00

Saumya Goes Shopping!!

Life's Like That

2010-06-08T12:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Saumya,

Summer vacation is just about to begin, to be exact its only two more days of school. You must be so happy!! No alarm clocks putting an instant stop on your dreams, no hurry up calls from me in the mornings. Yay! Just lazy summer days of doing whatever you want! Yoohoo!! Yeah, Not so fast honey. With me hovering around you for 24 hours a day, don't expect too much of lazying around. It's not my vacation, I still have all the jobs that I do everyday and then in addition there will be your sweet self to entertain. So just when you think of taking out those water paints and spread yourself on the family room floor, you will hear me calling you for a bath. Just when you think we can go out for a walk, you will see me chopping and stirring in the kitchen. Right when you take that board game out, you will see me lugging that laundry basket down the stairs. And just when you get bored of me bossing you around and decide to lay low and lie down on your bed, I will request you to take out your most complicated puzzle. Make it. I will be like this, for the first few weeks I guess. Many a times I will not answer your questions not because I won't know the answers but to tell you the truth I become very bitter when I am under your radar all the time. Its like you are doing that Police song on me

Every breath you take and every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take, I'll be watching you

Every single day and every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay, I'll be watching you

You not only watch but also ask the "why" of every move and step I take.

Why did you cu that strawberry like that? Why did you wash those rice two times, why did you put the ketchup bottle here, why did you stir that pot so fast, why why why!!

And when I am bitter, I like to keep my mouth shut. Sorry sweetheart, people must be looking forward to their kid's vacation and they must be making such merry making plans of the things they are going to do together. All I am hoping to do, at least in the first few weeks, is to preserve our sanity, your and mine, both! We love each other like no one can but we are so not used to spend every waking moment together and expecting us to smooth sail through this, without hitting any bumps, would be asking for just too much. Totally unrealistic !! Right? Right.

My summer vacations, yes I had those too (!!!) , used to start in my Mausi's home. That's right!! When I would come back home on the last day of school, I would find Promila Mausi waiting for me with my clothes already packed to go. Mother would call from her office and tell me that I can go with her. And without seeing my mom, I would give my hand to Mausi and hop on the DTC bus, thinking about all the fun I would have at mausi's home, with my cousins. We would go back and forth from mausi's home back to our's, all the while the cousins helping finish each other's holiday's homework, making charts, painting posters, writing essays, collecting pictures for scrapbooks, building models. None of our parents knew what homework we got but they did know that whatever it is, the kids will make sure it's done.

But sweetheart, here its just you and me. No mausi, mama or bua can come to pick you up. We are so far away from them that no matter how much they yearn for you, none of your cousins can be with us during your vacations. We will not have anyone with whom you can partner in the mischiefs, no sisters to play hopscotch with, no peers to giggle with. I am sorry honey, Its just me you got. Your dad, as usual, will brighten our evenings, his arrival from work will give both of us a breather. He will salvage us from the weariness we impound each other with. God bless his soul for putting up with us!!

I know we will be doing lots of fun stuff together too but who are we kidding, right? Having fun with your mother will always pale in comparison to what you little girls manage to have. Oh well! In times like these, I am just left to ask myself this question, where's our family and why are we so far away from them.

But since life's like that for us, we got to make the most of what we got. And you got me!! So I wish you a fun filled happy summer vacation, yes we will try!

Lot's of love

Mamma

Think Global !!

2010-06-05T21:32:00.000-04:00

I was doing our usual night time ritual of reading a good night story to Saumya and the book was

Time For Bed
Its a very simple cute little book featuring different animals on each page where the parent animal is trying to settle its kids for bed, helping it sleep. Beautiful illustrations depicting dusky scenes and loving sleepy expressions. It's one of favorite night time books. But there is one page which, instead of bringing sleep to our daughter's eyes, sparks a debate with the author!
It's time for bed, little sheep, little sheep, the whole wide world is going to sleep
She says, "Hey that's not true!! The whole wide world doesn't go to sleep at the same time! When I sleep my nani ma and dadi ma wake up in India, my mom's friend in Australia is in office, another in New Zealand is awake too! Haven't you seen the world map? I will have to tell this person who wrote this book that earth goes around the sun and when part if facing the sun, its day time there and night time on the other side. So no whole wide world together bedtime!!"
When I was 5 years old I would have not questioned this because my whole wide world was limited to not my country but only to my city!!!
Citizens of the world :-))

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

2010-06-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

I have been long contemplating picking this book because my last read was this amazing  novel and I could not bring myself to terms with the fact that there can be anything better out there. I got Kindle as mother's day gift but was unable to use it for the same reason. I didn't know a single book that would meet my new set of expectations, unrealistic, as I thought then! And then I, hesitatingly, ordered The Help and after reading 10 pages, I was kicking myself for not picking it up earlier!! Better late than never! The story is based in 1960 in Jackson, Mississippi. . Its a story of a white woman Skeeter Phelan, who is fresh out of college and wants to be a writer but is completely oblivious to the what's going on around her. A time of civil rights movement in America. She has been asked by a publishing house to write about what disturbs her. And currently she is intrigued by the absence of a black woman who used to be a servant in their home while she was growing up, with whom she developed a special bond and who used to write her letters when she was at college but when she came back home, that woman was gone and no one was ready to tell her the reason. When her best friend makes a political issue about the black women using toilets in their employer's homes while working as maids, as help to whites, raising their kids, cooking their food, polishing their silver, Skeeter got determined to write a book comprising of experiences, with names changed, of these maids, The Help. Aibileen, who has raised 17 white children in different white homes and her friend Minny, who is big mouthed and has lost more jobs than we can count on our fingers for being so, they both sign up with Skeeter to tell about their experiences.
   The author has written the book in narrative style where it goes back and forth between Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter. Though the book is not a thriller or a mystery it sure is a page turner. I was taken in by the author and while reading I felt to be physically there in Jackson, Mississippi. Kathryn's writing skills succeeded in conquering the physical distance and took me in those homes of white women who would indulge in pretentious extravagant galas and fundraisers for starving poor children in Africa while the blacks in their homes were not allowed to even use their toilets and be seen bare legs with no stockings even if its burning hot summer. I felt like being a catch 22 situation while reading this book, I wanted to know more and more but I didn't want the book to finish, ever. The Help is an  important novel that tackles major issues in a dark period of American history yet still manages to be entertaining, lively, affecting as well as moving.
   Though the book is set in 1960s America, it did feel like talking about current times in India! The way we treat our help. I don't know if we would even call our maid as "help". Just like in the book, we don't like our help to make any eye contact with our guests, we cringe if they use our toilet when they come to work in our homes, we don't associate the word respect with them as if own a copyright on it, if something goes missing from our home, we reprimand them or we simply fire them and just like in the book, then we bad mouth them so they don't get any other job. We feel our kids should be our maid's first priority and we get upset when she is home taking care of her child, just like in the book. We expect them to be obligated to be working for us. Though we pay them for their work we expect them to be enslaved to our homes. While reading the book my mind kept on wandering in Jackson but somewhere it was lingering in the homes of India, the India of today.
I would highly recommend The Help and would not be surprised if it becomes a required reading for English literature courses. Also, I would love to see it becoming a movie!!

Foto Friday

2010-05-28T12:21:00.000-04:00

Show and Tell

2010-05-27T01:14:00.000-04:00

While browsing the TV channels few hours ago I came across an ad for a new TV show "Baat Humari pakki Hai"
Here's the promo that intrigued me,
It is hardly a minute long but still there is so much wrong here, or I should say there is hardly anything in it that is right!
Wow! We are telling our girls that

they should not play in the sun or their complexion will darken and no one would marry them,
they need to learn to cook to get married,
they need not focus on their academics because once they get married only housework knowledge will come handy and

after all this when the time comes the ball is still in the guy's court as the woman in the video puts it "hum ladka dekhney nahi ladki dikhaney jaa rahe hain" (we are not going to see the boy but to show our girl) . So what we are basically saying is ......If the guy likes you, you should not have the nerve to say no because you cannot and your opinion does not matter, why? because you were raised to get married and not ask questions, not express your likes and dislikes, you need to be thankful that he, who came to see you, has approved you and if he doesn't like you, better go check the mirror, there's got to be something wrong about you and we as a family are doomed. You are an object of this Show and Tell, where we show and they tell and you endure. And if you want any of this to change, hope to be born as a man next time.
This is where we have reached after claiming bragging rights for Jhansi ki rani who led a battle, Sarojini Naidu who was the president of Indian National Congress and later on became the first female governor in India, Kamaljit Sandhu who won a Gold in Asian games for India, Kalpana Chawla who went to space, Indira Gandhi, Pratibha Patil and many unknown women who are achieving what they aspire. The list of women who went on to do something with their lives other than just getting married is endless and we all are proud of them. When we present our country anywhere else in the world, we do not shy away and rather flaunt about these facts, we love to tell everyone that ours is a progressive country with equal rights and opportunities for men and women. Is it really the reality? When the time comes for us to participate in that progress, when we get a chance to empower our girls, what do we do in our homes? We give them a rolling pin and a fairness creme.
A friend in college was once told by her boyfriend that when you see my mom I want you to look down and keep your head down. You posture isn't like that of a daughter in law. When she told me this we both knew what her decision should be. But really? This is what we expect? The conclusive and final goal for a girl is getting married and since the time she is born, her upbringing needs to be such that she becomes a "good wife" who tends the house and raise kids. And do we ever think what kind of children she is going to raise if her only mission in life was to get married, if she was never told the importance of learning, never told or was rather discouraged to speak for herself? How can she raise balanced minds when hers was made to tilt in one direction? How can we have a positive society when almost half the population has been robbed of their happiness? Aren't we setting ourselves up for failure? Should we not be worried about this lop sided society we are trying to create with this imbalance? When will we wake up to this fact that if a girl holds the rolling pin, its not just to please her in laws or her husband, cooking could be her passion, or she may want to become a chef! While grooming herself, she may become interested in being a make up artist or a fashion designer, she might be weaving a dream of being an athlete....or for all its worth, she may want to lead a non professional life of a homemaker but these need to be her aspirations and not imposed on her by anyone, she needs to grow up with a respect for her desires and aspirations and we need to be the instrument for that growth. And for any of these to come true, we need to realize that getting married is a part of her life and not her life. She is not for Show and Tell, she is an entity, a person, a mind and a heart. And the day we all recognize and in fact appreciate this bottom line, then we can end the story with .......and they lived happily ever after.

On The Podium Now: Our Guest Blogger

2010-05-25T13:25:00.001-04:00

The author of this blog is currently suffering from writer's (as if !!) block, We have been fortunate that Miss Saumya has graciously offered to fill in. Yay!!

First things first : Miss Saumya wants the readers to know and keep this in mind that she is 5 years old and not "old" like her Mom, so please be extra kind. Also, Saumya will be dictating and mom will be typing. Ahem!

I will be telling you about my day. You do want to know about it, right? Alright here we go :-)

Beep Beep Beep: Beep Beep Beep: There goes my castle alarm clock and I quickly jump out of the bed to turn it off, otherwise mama comes rushing to my bedroom to see why I am not waking up!! Sometimes it becomes hard to turn it off because I am holding pinku in my other hand. Oh, I didn't tell you about Pinku yet! Its my sleeping buddy since I was 18 months old, Mama told me that. Do you know what color it is? It is Pink, you silly!!! That's why its name is Pinku!! Hehehehehe!

So after I turn my castle alarm clock off, you know its a pretty clock and is not very loud, I like it, it helps me wake up without anyone's help, so after I turn it off, I put Pinku on the chair. It stays in that chair all day and I only hold it again at bedtime. Sometimes I make it wear my baby clothes and then it looks just like me when I was a baby. Only I didn't have a bear face! That would be funny because I am a girl!! Hehehehehe. And after putting Pinku in the chair I run to Mama and Daddy's bedroom and then Mama hugs me and gives me lots of kisses and we say Good Morning to each other. And then I surprise daddy with a pucchi (Kiss) while his eyes are closed! It is so much fun :-) and he always asks for more, more and more. But Mama tells me that I am getting late. So I go to the bathroom and do "hehehehehehe" (added by mama: the author is not sure if you want to know about her bathroom routine, i guess we will skip. yes, You are welcome) I brush my teeth and wash myself. Bathroom is so much fun, I look out the window at the birds, the trees and our lawn and our neighbor's house but then Mama comes and says I need to hurry up, Jaldi Karo, Jaldi Karo!!! So I quickly go to my bedroom and wear my school clothes that Mama and me took out the night before, right after the story time. I get ready and then I choose which socks to wear. When its hot I wear short socks and when its warm I wear medium socks and when its cold I wear socks that go all the way up, up up!! And then I do my hair. My hair is so short now its no fun but it does make me get ready quickly. Then I go downstairs and sit on a chair and drink milk. Sometimes I drink it so quick that I ask Mama "why didn't you give me any milk and why did you give me a dirty glass?" I love asking this but when I am slow, Mama tells me I can't ask this question. Sometimes I eat a fruit after the milk and sometimes I say I am already too full. Then I wash my face. I am super quick on many days and then after drinking milk I get time to read a book. I read and read and read while mama packs my lunch. One day I want to pack my own lunch and I will be a chef when I grow up and that is why I keep "observing" mama when she is doing it. She told me that I can learn to do things if I observe. So I observe. But sometimes Mama gets upset when I ask her a lot of questions about my lunch.

Then I wear my shoes, mama puts on sunscreen on me and I put on my sunglasses because I have to protect my eyes from the harmful rays of the sun and then I go sit in the car and buckle my car seat. Then Mama drives me to school. One day I will be old enough to drive myself to school and then Mama will sit in the back. It will be so much fun!! Mama is a good driver, she drives safely and that is why I observe her while driving so I can be a safe driver. Then we reach school and Mama drops me at the classroom door and says bye. I shake hands with Ms.C and put my lunch bag away and take off my outdoor shoes and wear my indoor shoes. Then we have circle when Ms .C tells us news of the day. Then I do writing but sometimes it just takes me so long that I cannot do anything else. I think I need to switch my coloring, which I do super fast with my writing which is very slow. Then it will be good. And then I chose work like fruit cutting, chair washing, sewing buttons, addition stamp game, math beads, math chains, metal insets, I made a huge metal inset quilt with my friend R. It was really huge and took us many days to finish. I also work on the easel, do maps, sort animals in their continents, sort animals in water bodies. There is a lot of work in my classroom and I can chose to do what I want. We go out also and that is the best time at school!! When I don't know who to play with I just run around in circles, it is super fun.

Then Mama comes to pick me up. On the way I tell her about my day but sometimes I want to be quiet. Once home, mama gives me a bath and I get to see all the sand running down my body, as if my head is a sand box....hehehe!!

Then I eat fruits and my favorite in summers is watermelon. It is so water.......hey maybe that's why they call it water melon. Hehehehe!! Then Mama and me play games. Bingo, Zingo, Scrabble, Blokus, Set.............. I love them all and I do not get sad when I lose. I say "Grashulations" to mama for winning and she hugs me tight and when I win, mama is also happy. Then I read, read and read. I like reading encyclopedia, about earth, about planets, about my body. One day I will go to space with mama. I will be an Astronaut. After this I water the plants indoors and also outdoors but only when the weather is good and I can be outside. Then its dinner time. I eat food and mama drinks her tea. After this we sometimes go out, we look for lady bugs and we walk to the lake to see the Geese and ducks, sometimes I see otters also in the water! Then Its time for me to brush and floss my teeth and then its story time when Mama or daddy read to me! Sometimes I let them chose the book also. Then Mama checks next day's weather and we take out clothes for school. We give lots of hugs and kisses and say good night, subah milengey (meet you in the morning).

Hehehehe....

From Mercury To Pluto

2010-05-21T00:38:00.000-04:00

Once my little daughter, when she was 4 years old, told me how God and a mother are related. Her point of view though precious, did pose a lot of questions to me. When we are little children we see our parents as absolutes, as irrefutable entities. If my mother said so, it has to be true, if my dad can't do it no one can. Parents are given an unparalleled position, a supreme pedestal by the little ones and these rudimentary souls hold indestructible trust that whatever parents say or do is beyond question. Its one of the purest form of human emotions. Such kind of love and trust is nowhere to be seen, never in any other relationship. Why? And why does this relationship of a parent and child change?
   When a child is born, she is at the mercy of her parents to survive. They feed her, clean her, comfort her, they provide for her in every possible way she needs them and then some more. The child starts growing and though very little, her mind is taking shape with the influx of information that is obviously in favor of the parent. I cried, they fed me. I cried, they swaddled me. I cried, they cleaned me. I cried, they held me. I cried, they talked to me. Whenever the child wants, we give. All the childhood years, this process goes on. And the parents enjoy doing this because their actions are never questioned, never investigated by the child. There is no doubt it's a laborious task but a very gratifying one!! Parents are in control of the situation, they have complete authority and the child displays a sense of security while being in their company. It's a harmonious system of give and take, where one gives and the other takes. But as the child grows, she gets exposed to the outside world. There are other people, other places, and other experiences outside home that influence the flourishing mind. And the shift begins. The child develops a mind of his own which does not take things as absolutes, a mind which questions everything and does not follow rules simply because mama said so. The progressing mind asks for reasons and also starts to question his parent's beliefs and values. The child isn't just an unassuming, compliant sole anymore. The parents, who became so habitual of being on the supreme pedestal that their child honored them with in the early years, become nervous. This inquisition makes them uneasy.
   Few days ago, we were in the car, going out for casual family fun and my little one said "Mama, I love you" This verbal display of love isn't out of the ordinary for her, she says it only about 10 or 15 times a day. I was reading something and responded with a nod and a "Umhum" and then she said "Mama, I love you from Mercury to Pluto" ..................Honestly, my heart skipped a beat!! To say that I was ecstatic would be an understatement but more than that I was afraid. Her words grabbed my heartstrings and pulled on them as if asking "Are you ready to take the pain, are you strong enough to bear the heartache?"
   Not that I believe that once we grow up, we stop loving our parents but our opinion about them does change. They don't get to say the last word, we learn that they always don't know what's best for us, we mature enough to acknowledge that if dad can't do, somebody else can. Because of our growth as an individual, our own set of ideas, our own perception of right and wrong, all that shapes us as an independent entity and separates us from the whole, we become capable of looking at our parents as normal, regular people. We are able to expect mistakes from them, our wisdom helps us unload from them the burden of being "supreme beings" and in a way this should bring a sigh of relief to parents but it does exactly the opposite. To the parents, that absolute, never questioning, unconditional love of the child seems to travel from Mercury to Pluto , from burning hot to freezing cold :-). The parent child relationship changes. For the "all in power parent" its hard to relinquish that predominant position that the child bestowed them with!!
   Looking at my relationships, I am not the same with my parents. I love them even more than when I was a child, for now I understand their struggles as well as their little joys but I can also analyze their actions and can perceive the mistakes they made, things they could have done better or not!! And history has a tendency to repeat itself, life has a penchant of coming to a full circle which brings me back to my fear. I am afraid to lose that shining pedestal, the glory of being the first in my child's life, the powerful feeling of knowing the right thing all the time!!
   But when I ponder a little more, I believe as a parent I need to remember that there will be a time when my child will experience life on her own and I won't be a part of every peak and valley she goes through.  The years I spend with her while standing at the podium will make memories forever but there will be time to handover the podium to her. And her love will travel back and forth between Mercury and Pluto but I need to stay grounded on earth and not melt in the heat or freeze in the frigidity of that love!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-19T09:55:00.001-04:00

Ready for Take Off.......(do click the picture for a better view)

Dreams Unlimited

2010-05-17T01:32:00.002-04:00

I recently started watching Indian Idol, as much as the antics of Annu Malik bother me, the show does make feel closer to India. The songs are the ones I grew up with, songs to the tunes of which I did my first dance, songs that remind of fresher parties in college, songs that remind of my dating days,songs that remind of my childhood, songs that bring me home. It's gratifying to devour such songs while being so far away from home. So there, since I have explained the reasons that help me tolerate the ludicrous judge, let's move on from the judges to the contestants. Actually to their answer to a particular question.

  "Why do you want to be the Indian Idol?"
And here the answers in no particular order:
   1.Its my mom's dream.
   2.Its my dad's dream
   3.Its my mom and dad's dream
   Out of the millions of hopefuls that came for the auditions only a handful had a reason outside of the one's mentioned above. Does this say anything about us as a society? As parents? Many of us, as parents, try to manifest our dream through our children. And in this quest of our own unfulfilled dream, we tend to make the child believe that this is what he/she wants for herself and that we are supporting his/her aspirations. Its not just Indian Idol where we see this. In fact, it's one of the serious issues that children face when making a career decision. Adults tend to completely ignore the fact that the child is free to make his own career choice and in fact might have already made one. A person needs guidance from parents while exploring the desired career options. Because of their life experiences they might know more about those professions than the child. However, after outlining the ins and outs, shouldn't the child in question be free to do what he wants to do with that information??
   There is one particular contestant on Indian Idol, who was in the final 16 but was not sure if he will go further in the next round. Standing on the stage he had only one thing to say "Mom and Dad, please understand that I have and am working very hard to realize your dream but if I don't get audience's positive response, please remember that I will go on working for your dream" And tears rolled down his cheeks. Do you sense the magnitude of pressure he is under??
   But why? If we have this confidence that we have raised our children well, we have kept the communication channels open with them, if we have impressed them with values of right and wrong, shouldn't we be able to entrust them in making this choice? Some people assert that given a free hand in this life impacting decision, the children would end up choosing some career that would not be fitting. But fitting to which mold? If its your desire that the child becomes a doctor, you would have envisioned him in that doctor coat every time he came home with the report card. And no matter what he wants to become now, it would not fit in that mold of your fancy!!
   Maria Montessori says, "to give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself or neglect him. The help we give must not amount to a passive indifference to all the difficulties he will encounter; rather we must support his development with prudent and affectionate care"
   By providing the right guidance and a positive environment in the formative years, we should be able to trust our children to make informed decisions about their careers. But compelling them to become something we would love them to be isn't exactly being judicious. Every hopeful who was rejected after the audition was heart broken not because he/she couldn't make it but because mummy and papa will be sad that their child failed to actualize their dream.
   When we become parents, we see our children as our very own extension, an addendum to the whole. It is hard to perceive that the child as an individual, who is separate from us and is really not here to dance to our tunes. He has an entity of his own, an entity that can have desires that clash with our aspirations. As parents, one of our important roles is to orient ourselves with the insider information about our children's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, passions and indifference.
   To quote Maria Montessori once more "Adults look upon a child as something empty that is to be filled through their own efforts, as something inert and helpless for which they must do everything, as something lacking an inner guide and in constant need of inner direction. . . . An adult who acts in this way, even though he may be convinced that he is filled with zeal, love, and a spirit of sacrifice on behalf of his child, unconsciously suppresses the development of the child's own personality"
So as parents are we not entitled to weave dreams for our children? Say's who? Fabricating dreams for the future is what keeps us hopeful towards life. How wonderful would it be if we envisage for our children, for them to be able to realize their own potential, for them to be able to live their dream and being contended and happy!!

Roses Are Purple

2010-05-12T12:04:00.001-04:00

Friend In Law

2010-05-10T14:16:00.002-04:00

In the Hindi movie Bawarchi (1972) Harindranath Chatopadhya who plays the role of shivnath, the oldest man in the household, calls his son, played by A K Hangal, early in the morning for a cup of tea because their bawarchi (cook) has left work.
The son asks, "why did you call me so early in the morning?"
and the very old father replies:
Aur nahi to kya bahu ko bulata? (Should I have called my daughter in law instead?)
Wo to daughter in law hai, Qanoon ki beti. Ab subah subah qanoon ke jhameley mein kaun pade, isliye tujhey hi bulaya" !! :-))
(She is the "daughter in law" as in daughter of the law. Who wants to deal with the law right early in the morning, so I called you my son)
     While getting pampered on Mother's Day one thought kept on loitering my mind. Is there a day to celebrate Mother in Laws? I mean is there a mother in law day? If there is one, it's not marketed well enough because I have never heard about it.  A mother in law - daughter in law relationship is anything but unpretentious! Initial days or rather years are spent marking territories. Mother in law who generally rules the roost is determined to let the daughter in law know that being part of the family doesn't mean having authority. Do not mess with that! And the daughter in law is busy pronouncing her position in the roost, which by the way is more that being mere part of the family. This endeavor of power, though is not vocal but it certainly is undeniable. But please allow me to sweeten this tussle by expressing that it is not always unpleasant. Once the two are comfortable in their respective zones and are able to look at each other as a person, as an individual outside of how they are are related to each other and know about each other's likes, dislikes, hobbies & interests, they can experience the joy of an engaging friendship right at home!!
  We all celebrate mother's day with much pomp and show, express our love for our beloved moms and it is important but isn't it even more important to express our gratitude for someone who didn't give birth to us and still plays the role of being a mother in more than one ways?
   After celebrating mother's day, I am here today to write about my mother in law. I am not here to say that ours is a heaven sent relationship which never saw any bad day. We had had our shares of battles which subsequently brought a fair share of heartaches, for both of us. But which relationship in the world is perfect?

Like many newlyweds, I was an amateur cook at best! But Ma was always there to share her wisdom in the kitchen. Over those rushed long distance phone calls, over the emails which she was learning to compose or in person, she always shares her recipes enthusiastically. There is no power struggle, no desire to demonstrate that only she can cook those dishes. I thank her for that. Today when I lovingly cook those dishes I learnt from her and get praises, I feel such warmth and proudly tell everyone that my mother in law taught me those.

Thank you Ma! While herself being in the kitchen, her sole focus is not on her son or her grand daughter, she very lovingly makes the things I love to eat!! Once, on our way to our endless shopping trips in Delhi, she made sure that I get to eat those steaming hot Shakarkandis, everyone else in the car was just so tired and wanted to go home but she diligently looked for one of those street vendors and was determined to find one!! Thank you Ma!

     My mother in law is a woman of many attributes. Whether you are a relative, an acquaintance or a close friend, you would not want a social gathering without her presence. Along with her melodious voice, she brings life to the parties. The first time I heard her singing was when a Ramayan pathh was organised at home right after our wedding. It goes on for at least 2 days and the next morning we woke up to her lyrical voice. The comfort her harmonious voice brought to me was like a mother's touch who is caressing her child's forehead while the little one is in deep slumber. In that alien environment, her soothing voice made me feel at home. She has won over many friends with her singing. I only wish she pursued it as more than a hobby. Ma, did I ever tell you how much I love your singing? Please never take this away from yourself or from us!! She has a zeal for life and is always ready to learn new things, be it browsing the Internet, rewiring the computers or getting those new styles of blouses!! Her excitement in life awaken such positive thoughts in all of us that we are not scared to get old!
   Life in not rosy at all times and there have been situations when I felt the need to tell her that there are times when we wish for her to just stand back and let us be. Its the same feeling a child feels towards her parents who sometimes, out of love and concern, over nurture. I believe she does understand that and keeps her distance when needed. In fact she goes a step further and helps my father in law comprehend that. I thank her for that! Also, in such times, sometimes I might have come across as rather hasty. Did that hurt you Ma? I do want to let you know that I appreciate as well as I am conscious of the fact that sometimes keeping distance must be hard for you. I thank you for those efforts you put in to let me be me.
     Though that is how we are related, I don't primarily see her as "the mother of my husband". The bridge to our relationship is my husband and her son but by not tying ourselves to the expectations of our roles as a "mother in law" and "daughter in law", we have been able to accomplish a competence to be able to reach each other independently, just like two friends would.
   In her I see a friend, a friend with whom I share every joke I hear, a friend who I love go to movies with and laugh like silly school girls, a friend with whom I love to shop, a friend who respects my passions, a friend who does not get insecure by my strengths, a friend who is proud to be with me, a friend who is also, incidentally, my mother in law.

For My Mother

2010-05-06T12:58:00.002-04:00

Mom and Dad dearly wanted a girl and all they had was two boys *eye roll* When I entered this world *drum rolls please* it was a very cold night but my parents filled their hearts with the fruition of their frolic! Mum said she looked at dad while he was busy admiring the baby, she knew this is the girl they always wanted. Both of them would splash me with love just like the ocean with all its fervor, smother the beach with its waves. At times they would stand behind looking tenderly at me, captivated by the charm of the girl they always wanted. Dad brought anklets paayal for me when I started walking. Every jingle and chime of my tiny steps would amuse them. Dad got enamored by his daughter but it was my mother who despite being in this grasp of love was able to see me as an individual who she was determined to raise with a desire to be independent. Hers was tough love. She knew its not a woman's world and she knew in order to survive in this male dominated world, a girl needs to know when to raise her hand and say No. She knew the world we live in sees a woman's worth by the men in her life and hence she knew the importance of having an independent mind, a conscious that would not be easily swayed by popular opinions and would have the ability to chose wisely. Her way of communication made her lovable. Say it with a smile, that was her motto. I remember going with her to the ration stores which were set up by the government to sell grains and sugar at a subsidized price. Like many other things these stores were taken over by crooks who would just send the customer back saying "khatam ho gaya" (its all finished) no matter what date of the month it would be! Mother would never fight them for her share but she used her words judiciously accompanied with a pleasant tone and it was only a matter of minutes that I would see the attitudes shifting from arrogance to diffidence. And then she would carry that big sack of wheat on her shoulders amidst the narrow congested vegetable market with no sign of embarrassment. She didn't care for what people would say, a lady carrying ration on her back while her husband is home, India is like that but she never bothered about the people who ridiculed her. Beside her, I would carry the smaller bag, the one containing sugar and every now and then she would give me a faithful look that said "you and me are in this together" and I would walk quietly trying to keep pace with her confident stride while clutching the sack and observing the onlookers with their judgmental expressions . Mom, with her crystal clear display of strong self confidence, made me what I am today. Her resilience to any and every kind of life situations helped this little girl grow up to be someone who can bear the weight of life as it comes. She didn't preach any life lessons to me because she knew her daughter isn't a mere observer. Her ingenuity at managing the house and the effective ways through which she involved us kids in that process, internalized in me innumerable skills without even trying. I thank her for that.
And once I became a mother, I realized how much I have really learned from her.
From a mother to her mother "Happy Mother's Day Mom"

This post goes to the Blogadda contest for Mother's Day!
I would chose this for my mother for the razzle dazzle she never had!

Joys of Summer

2010-05-04T14:41:00.003-04:00

Living on this side of the globe has made me realize what a bliss it is to have summers. For a long part of the year, our region faces nature's fury in the form of snowstorms, ice storms, much much below freezing temperatures. But come the month of May and there is no other place we would rather be. It is lush green everywhere with a sunny warmth and a touch of breeze. It is seductive to say the least, anyone who visits during summers would want to live here forever. And that's why no guests are allowed in our house over the summers.....just kidding....but you got it, didn't you?
This past Sunday was one such perfect summer day here and we took it all in by being outside in the lawn,Saumya was ~~watering herself~~ taking care of the plants , savoring juicy red water melon and running around in the lawn. That is all we did. But it was one of those days that stay in my memory forever. The days when none of us is busy and we are just being family, just there. Seeing everyone being joyous and all happy, I decided to surprise Saumya along with my hubby dear with a refreshing summer delight.

Mango Lassi

I promised IHM that I will share this recipe, here you go my dear friend.

Here's what all you need to quench your thirst..........

Mango : 1 count
Yogurt : 3/4 cup
Water : 1/2 cup
Sugar : To taste (If you are lucky enough to be in India during mango season, I don't think sugar is needed but elsewhere please adjust it depending on the sweetness of mango)
Here's what you need to do....
Peel and cut the mango. Put everything in the blender and let it run its fury! And there you have it.....Mango Lassi!
Give it a try!

The Peeler And The Healer

2010-04-29T12:24:00.000-04:00

So you become a parent, you read a lot of books, try to set up an example for the children and see them showing good values and feel proud. Like many parents, I do spend a lot of time correcting my behavior by reading books , interacting with other parents, observing teachers, watching movies, listening to radio.....really, whatever I am doing my mind keeps getting subconscious feedback about my parenting skills. Looking at how others are solving their problems, dealing with a difficult person while keeping their demeanor, how people are displaying their virtue of patience at work place or in the parking lot.....all of it goes in that section of my mind where a five year old parent sits to learn. Yes I do consider myself to be a 5 year old parent because that's how long ago I became one. I am learning on the job. And there are days that ring a bell and tell me that many a times I am a perfect candidate that should be fired from this job. Few months back I shared with you all about my daughter Saumya's thoughtful gift to me. I considered that peeler as one of my prized possessions, something I earned from a 5 year old for being a good mother, a sensitive friend who could pass on the values of care and expression of love to this little girl. I felt victorious and big. I was not planning to use that peeler because I wanted it to be with me forever but after a lot of nudging from everyone around and Saumya herself that it would mean so much more to her if she sees me using it, I kept it in my kitchen and believe me peeling a potato was never such fun, people at home caught me with a smile plastered on my face while peeling. Love is really something, it even turns a mundane task of peeling into this fascinating work that calls to you!! And then one day, while I heard my calling, I opened the drawer and there was no peeler to be seen!!! It was gone, vanished!! I looked high and low everywhere in the kitchen, emptied every nook and corner hoping to find it playfully hiding and ready to surprise me with a big scream of laughter just like Saumya. I even emptied the trash can, yes I rummaged through our kitchen trash and turned the whole kitchen upside down but it was nowhere to be found. Looking at the mess I brought upon and cleaning through it I realized that there wasn't any surprise waiting for me but oh how I wished for a miracle that day. Like a 5 year old, I was scared. I pondered that if Saumya is learning by observing us, she is going to be heartbroken as well as furious when she finds out.

Like a 5 year old who treads on a path full of mines everyday where at every action or word of hers, either a parent or a teacher is going to jump out like a Genie from a cup to point out the mistakes she made, things she could have done differently, I was perturbed and muddled at the complexity of the situation. Like a 5 year old I didn't know if I should be sad about my loss or be scared of the condemnation I will have to face. I could just simply let it go and hope for Saumya to forget about it but thankfully prudence prevailed and I gathered courage and decided to face the music.

We were in the kitchen, making small talk about our day and even with a strong conviction in me I could not muster up enough mettle to just speak out about the lost peeler. So I took another route, I took out potatoes and a regular knife and started peeling knowing that the observant Saumya will notice and ask. And she did! No matter how guilty or scared I was, I again felt victorious at being able to predict my daughter's action and reactions.

"Mamma, why aren't you using a peeler for those potatoes?"

"Uhummm, I can't seem to find the peeler anywhere"

"You mean you can't find the peeler I gifted you?"

"mmm....hmmm...uuunnn"

"You mean the peeler I gave on your birthday in India?"

"I looked for it everywhere but .....its ....nowhere...."

"Mamma that is so weird"

"Saumya, I am really sorry that I lost it, it was a special gift from you, I didn't take care of it the way I should have"

Seeing her mother in distress , Saumya brought out the most altruistic , benevolent smile on her charming face and held my face in her soft tender hands and said "Mamma, that's OK, we can lose things sometimes"

And then , with an astute poise she hugged me. I was mesmerized and my vision became cloudy with gratitude. Upon seeing tears rolling down my cheeks she said "Mamma you are being silly, smile now, we can always get another peeler"

I was so ashamed at all the instances I had been so hard on her in the past; why did you forget to, why can't you take care, why can't you learn......always expecting her to have an explanation for her actions. What could I offer her if she dealt with the situation the same way and asked me "why did you lose it, why can't you take care of things that are important to you, why can't you learn".

Thank you Saumya for letting this 5 year old parent learn yet again that if I keep my mind open, learning can come from anywhere and everywhere and thank you for being one such source.

Happy Mother's Day.

Please Touch....

2010-04-25T19:57:00.001-04:00

......and when you are done doing that, read further!! Gee, what were you thinking, I am only here to write about a museum!!! :-)
Please Touch Museum is housed in the Memorial Hall Philadelphia which was one of the buildings built to celebrate America's centennial in 1876. It is the only major building remaining from the centennial exposition. It is a magnificent building with a resplendent soaring ceiling which is about 80 ft high.

As we enter the stunning space, we are greeted by 40 ft life size replica of Statue of Liberty's Arm and Torch which is built using things like toys and games and other things "found". Can you see the beautiful details in the building? I love it!!

This Image: Please Touch Website

Please Touch Museum is a hands on children's museum. From their official website
....."we encourage children to play and grow through the myriad of experiences we offer. We know that play provides the foundation for basic life skills such as building relationships, cooperation, negotiation and compromise as well as providing opportunities for children to find out who they are and what they enjoy doing. Play offers an emotional outlet, develops the imagination and creativity, and cultivates problem-solving skills"

It is great place to spend time with toddlers and preschoolers. We spent about three hours there. Saumya was especially smitten by the "Grocery Store" where she could shop and then check out all her stuff just like mom.
Another thing that captivated her was the hamster wheel which she would walk on to make it move. In excitement she started "walking" on it very fast but wasn't very happy that it made the wheel go fast as well!! And then we ate in the Please Taste Cafe where the motto was "please pay too much" ouch!!! We should have packed our own snacks. After that we made a customary visit to the museum store which was pretty commonplace but we did find an "out of the ordinary" puzzle for Saumya.
She was able to make most of it without help though in the final stages when the pieces very very little she did need an adult. Here it is

Looks cool, eh?!

Here's the other side of it.

If you are in Philadelphia with a child under the age of 6, this would be a great place to visit. Here's the link to the website for more info.

Philadelphia : Part One

2010-04-23T19:14:00.000-04:00

The Philadelphia Stock exchange. It was the first one to be established in United States in 1790. Love the grandeur and the columns.

One of the many hotels in downtown. Again, the columns and archways fascinate me.

The Independence Hall where the discussions and debates and the final signing of constitution of America took place.

The Philadelphia Bourse, opened in 1895 and was the first commodities exchange in United states. Today, it is one of Philadelphia’s leading commercial complexes, home to 24 retail and food service stores and more than 50 businesses.

People think that Betsy Ross made the American flag, but it's not totally for sure. She was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on January 1, 1752. More about Betsy Ross here.

One of the six mints in United States, is located in Philadelphia and it only makes coins and no bills. The architecture disappointed me here!

Oldest living street in United States is Elfreth's Alley and is in Philadelphia. It about 300 years old. "Only??" Ask people from Europe!!

Benjamin Franklin Bridge built over the Delaware river, what a beauty! It connects Philadelphia with New jersey. Construction started in 1922 but soon after a dispute arose between

New Jersey and Philadelphia. New Jersey wanted tollbooths on the bridge while Pennsylvania wanted the bridge to be free, using tax money to pay for the construction. Works on the bridge even halted for some time until eventually Pennsylvania agreed to construct tollbooths. it finally opened to traffic in 1926 but was given its present name only in 1956.

This is the Liberty Bell. When William Penn created Pennsylvania's government he allowed citizens to take part in making laws and gave them the right to choose the religion they wanted. The colonists were proud of the freedom that Penn gave them. In 1751, the Speaker of the Pennsylvania Assembly ordered a new bell for the State House. He asked that a Bible verse to be placed on the bell - "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the inhabitants thereof" (Leviticus 25:10). As the official bell of the Pennsylvania State House (today called Independence Hall) it rang many times for public announcements. The old State House bell was first called the "Liberty Bell" by a group trying to outlaw slavery. These abolitionists remembered the words on the bell and, in the 1830s, adopted it as a symbol of their cause.

Philadelphia City Center has a eclectic mix of old and new architecture and it gives Philadelphia its unique look and style.

Gorgeous Philadelphia City Hall. It boasts to be the largest, tallest and the most expensive of all the city halls in United States. It took 30 years to be ready and no steel frames were used in the construction which is why the walls on the first floor are up to 22 ft thick to support the weight of the floors above.

The first free public library in America is also in Philadelphia, founded by , of course, Benjamin Franklin like everything else in Philadelphia!

Yes, you can thank me now for presenting a long lesson about Philadelphia! I am sure I must have missed many things but then who said you can get to know everything by just reading one book ;-)
More to come in next post about things in Philadelphia and that have nothing to do with Ben Franklin!

I Am Sorry

2010-04-14T17:54:00.008-04:00

Two 5 year old girls (cousins) playing together, sharing their books, toys, food, clothes and sharing the people around them. One's mother is another's aunt, one's sister is another's cousin, one's chachi is another's mami. While spending those precious moments with each other that they know aren't very frequent, they get in a fight. Everyone around gets upset that peace is broken. "What happened, they were so nice to each other" and within few minutes both the girls are not looking at anybody but the floor while everyone else has taken the charge to make the situation right! "Say Sorry to her, you have to say sorry, say it, say it now, say sorry to each other" Both of them are being reprimanded by elder siblings, cousins as well as aunts. Did this coercion make them say sorry? In this case no.

And I am grateful that the girls didn't budge.

Did your jaw drop on the floor ;-)?

Please let me say some more before you write me off as being obnoxious. Apologizing when you mean it, is a wonderful tool to make a truce but forcing other's to apologize sends wrong message home. Children can learn that they can do whatever and say sorry and it will be all right. They can learn that they can hit others, wreck their work and when an adult gets to know, simply blurting the word "sorry" would let them get away. They can learn that they can do wrong and then fix it with a simple word "sorry".

Why didn't these girls say sorry? Sometimes, like adults, children are too embarrassed, muddled with their own actions that they are unable to bring themselves to say sorry. Many a times they don't really know what happened and feel that by saying sorry they own up to whatever happened and are scared of the unknown consequences. Even when we know we are wrong, it takes a lot of courage to come out and say "sorry" and it becomes even more difficult when others are banging on their heads to say it.

I do want to point out here that apologizing for a mistake is important and should be done but creating a storm in a cup for the actual apology in that very moment would just exasperate the situation. If a child is refusing to say sorry which could be for any of the reasons noted above, the expert advice is to say sorry on her/his behalf and then later discuss the incident with the child when everyone is calm. This does not mean that we shouldn't ask kids to say sorry for their wrong doings, how else will they learn this important part of social manners and skills but beating the drum and getting into a power struggle "I will make you say sorry or you will have to face this/that consequence" isn't exactly an effectual approach.

I was completely enamored by the way children in Montessori school learn to deal with such situations. This Montessori technique tackles the problem from the opposite end. Instead of focusing on the apology, the wrongdoer is told in clear words straight from the horse's mouth what has happened and what affect it had. This does make it easy for the wrongdoer to realize what she/he has done and without any adults yelling, instead of getting into a power struggle, the child is able to maintain perspective.

Using this approach is much harder than using parental authority to make the child say sorry. This approach will only work when the child has learnt with experience that she can express her hurtful feelings with words as well as accept mistakes without any fear of punishments. Providing and maintaining a positive environment that will foster responsibility for one's actions is far more crucial than glorifying an apology.

D.E.A.R Spring Visitors

2010-04-12T13:06:00.002-04:00

Saumya got a surprise visit, not from one but two lady bugs, right in her bedroom! Sunday morning was spent playing with them, counting their dots, talking about their color, wondering how they made inside the house when everything is closed, how come they both were in Saumya's bedroom, did they come to tell her that weather is warm, finally? We girls can talk, can't we! And then we finally bid buh-bye to them.

And now on to D.E.A.R, today is Drop Everything And Read day!! I am ready with my stack of books and my reading buddy Saumya. Wait for our report when we reveal what all we dropped to just read, read and read!!

Five year old humor

2010-04-08T18:23:00.001-04:00

"Saumya, make sure that cough syrup doesn't spill on bed or your blanket will be sticky and ants could come too."

"Then there will be no more coughing ants in our house , only the healthy ones" !!!!!!

********************************

It was a beautiful day, so a boy opened the door to enjoy the nice weather but the door said "Apne maze ke liye mujhey kyon phaad rahe ho" ((why are you tearing me apart for your own fun) and then she rolled in a loud shriek of laughter

*************************

Makkhan baitha plate mein, makkhan baitha plate mein,

Mazedaar yeh lagta hai,

Lekin jab khaney chalo, darr se pighal hi jata hai

Loose English translation:

(butter sitting in the plate,

yummy it is in taste,

but when I move on to eat,

it just melts away with fear)

image courtesy: google

Have you filled a bucket today?

2010-04-07T18:32:00.000-04:00

Last night we were in the middle of rituals, yes we are very ritualistic when it comes to bedtime. Brushing teeth, flossing teeth and reading a bedtime story and then showering each other with kisses and hugs before we embark our journey to dreamlands. Every single night, no matter how tired I am or how tired is Saumya or how late we are, we have to do this, have.to.do.this. Sometimes daddy gets to join in too and those are delightful days for him. So about last night, after all the rituals, I turned off light in the room and was about to say goodnight and a little soft voice chirped "Mama, can you please lie down for few minutes with me" Both of us, in bed, looking at each other and smiling, just simply being quiet and smiling and the little voice said

"Mama you are filling my bucket so much that its spilling all over"

Her teacher read a book to the class "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?" It tells that everyone has an invisible bucket and when we treat others nicely we fill their bucket and we fill our own. When we are mean to others we empty other's buckets along with ours. This resonates with the golden rule "Treat others as you would want them to treat you" If I empty your bucket, mine gets empty too or rather if I fill yours, mine gets filled up too. And how do I do it? With my deeds and positive actions. It also stimulates the thought process that in order to be happy, we need to think of others. When we are considerate of others, when we treat everyone around us nicely, we get the same in return.

So how did I fill your bucket Saumya?

"By driving me home, by making food for me, by giving me a bath, by ironing my clothes and with all the kisses! "

"By expressing this, you are filling my bucket Saumya!"

I am so using it next time we are in a store...honey buy me that handbag, it will fill my bucket and yours too!! Don't you worry about that empty wallet, just look at that bucket sweetheart!! Muaahhhhaaaaa *evil laughter*

Just kidding!!

I came out of her room beaming. My bucket was full.

We can ladle positive thoughts into other's buckets by reaching out to someone without them asking, by complimenting them, spreading love. One of my dear friends filled my bucket today, and hers, by surprising me with boxes full of laboriously made food, when she came to know I was sick. And seeing this bucket filling action of hers, Saumya said "Mama, now we need to make some of her favorite foods and deliver to her house so we also get a chance to fill her bucket. And ours too!!"

And whenever anyone of us misbehaves, yes mommies misbehave ~~too many~~ at times, we say "you are emptying your bucket and mine too!!"

Handbags or no handbags, we acknowledge the bucket filling as well.

Have you filled a bucket today?

Udaipur : Photo essay

2010-04-02T13:25:00.001-04:00

Aravali Mountains, view form our hotel.

I was so amused by this, a proper hindi word "Kaarya" along side "Chalu" ;-)

Udaipur is home to beautiful gates in various part of the town.

I was so happy to see signboards everywhere. Haathipole is shopper's paradise in Udaipur.

The ever famous Chetak Circle. No matter where you want to go, you go through Chetak Circle!

Entrance to City Palace.

The Majestic Palace.

Jharokha (window) from where the kings could see the whole city. Love the architecture.

Jharokha that opened int he courtyard, its a window for the women residing in the palace to view the performances in the held courtyard. Pretty, isn't it? No matter how pretty, I would have not liked to be segregated like that!

Elephant! I love the decorated elephants of Rajasthan and this was no exception.

You thought you could take an exit without seeing Chetak again?
This was a wonderful place to visit. Udaipur enamored with its charm, with small bikes and auto rickshaws that could go just about anywhere! City palace had lovely architecture but left me wanting for more. Living in a palace is so enchanting but after seeing queen's room about a quarter mile away from the king's and that he would send a messenger with a paan (betel leaf) to let the queen know that he wants to see her alone, I loved coming back home! Our life is so much better without all those distances and middlemen!

And this lady took my breath away......!!

Reading Race

2010-03-31T17:20:00.000-04:00

Books I checked out from the library

Books Saumya checked out from the library

Tired Of Doing Those Chores?

2010-03-18T14:08:00.001-04:00

After Saumya comes home from, our usual routine revolves around talking about her day, my day and then she chooses some work to do while I make dinner. Few days back I did Saumya's laundry but didn't get a chance to take the basket to her room. Upon seeing the basket spilling clothes and her favorite teddy, she said, "Mamma, you washed everything today, Thank you" She does this every time I wash her clothes and her gesture does make me think that I have never thanked my mom for washing my clothes. Yes I was a brat like that but one day, this recognition from my 5 year old, made me call mom the very next day to say thanks for everything she has done for me. Better late than never! It did feel good but mum really couldn’t understand the fuss. Back to the laundry though, she requested me to put her clothes on her bed so she can sort them. I never thanked my mom for her laundry services and I make my five-year-old put away her own laundry. How mean? If only my mom made me participate in chores like this, I would have also realized back then how much work all this is and would have also learnt to thank her along with many other people who made sure I get things when I need them!! Oh wait, this certainly doesn't sound the way I mean it to, now I come across as if I am saying I am a better mother than my own mom. Yikes!

Instead of wandering aimlessly let's go back to our laundry, yet again. Saumya took a long time sorting her clothes, making separate piles for socks, tights, leggings, shirts, dresses, undergarments, night suits, pants...I just went back to the kitchen hoping she finishes by dinner time. Once dinner was ready, I called her to come downstairs so we could eat and what I hear back is this "Mamma, I will take more time because I am organizing my drawers"

"Which drawers?"

"I am organizing my sock drawer, undergarments drawer, and legging drawer. It becomes very hard to find things"

Ahem. Gulp. Ahem. I frantically started organizing stuff in the kitchen drawers, you can call it ~~parental pressure~~, err, a habit that runs in the family. And a thought just kept on hitting me "As a parent I am supposed to set a good example for my child and here I am learning from my daughter's example" Was I embarrassed? Not one bit! In fact, I was a happy mom in those moments, taking pride in the environment we provide her at home, in perfect marriage to what she gets at her Montessori school, that is helping her develop a sense of order, a sense of responsibility and an appreciation for the effort that people around us put in everyday mundane chores.

Saumya came downstairs with a big sigh of relief, a face shining with satisfaction and beaming with self proud. Getting ready for school is a tad easier when we are not going berserk looking for a pair of socks that match. And because she organized it, she makes every effort to keep it that way. I checked off another thing from "everyday to do" list, I do not make Saumya's bed. Yeah, life is sweet by not doing stuff. No really, I strongly believe in "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" , what it means is we can only help someone so far and self reliance is the key to survival. Being able to go through one's day independently boosts a person's confidence and shows him enormous possibilities of things he can achieve. Each parent gets to hear this in early childhood years "Don't do it for me, teach me do it myself" And we don't cater to this desire of self dependence, we get brats like me who do not care to thank their mom for doing their laundry. First few days Saumya didn't care and just went back to the "unmade" bed. My signals seemed to go nowhere but one day, while she was at school I prettied up the bed in our room, changed the sheets and the bedspread with the fancy ones to make a statement, to make it look different than usual, to get it noticed. Upon return, she immediately noticed and commented, "Your bed looks pretty, how do you do it so nicely?" "Yes, I am good at it because I have been practicing it every morning" She went straight to her room and few minutes later, she comes back jumping with joy "I have a surprise for you, close your eyes and hold my hand and walk to my room" Tadaaaaaaaaa! The unmade bed got made, comforter neatly tucked in from all the sides. The trick worked! Every morning before heading downstairs for breakfast, she makes her bed.

Doing her laundry is a pleasure now. Are you saying “yeah right!!” ? But really, all I do is bring the clothes to the laundry room and Saumya put them in the washer, I put the detergent and then she puts them in the dryer and then I bring them back to her bed which I didn't even make and still be a proud mother *evil laughter* muaahhahahaha!!

Now only if I can take care of my own sock drawer, life would be perfect.

image courtesy : google images

No batteries required

2010-03-12T17:03:00.001-05:00

If you have little kids at home there are very good chances that you have various kinds of batteries stocked up. Every little toy we see on the store shelves needs batteries. Either I am too old or too slow because this whole electronic toy phenomenon has failed to catch up with me. Shoes that light up, trees that speak, flowers that squeak, soft toys that talk, dolls that light up when wave a wand, tea kettle that sings songs when you pour tea, bowling pins that shriek when hit all. a story reader that reads to the child. Is it really better for the child to listen to an electronic voice reading to it rather than a parent or a sibling sharing the book and making lifelong memories? I miss the days when dress up fun was not limited to Disney princesses and pirates, when pretend play included being real day to day people like a mom, a dad, a doctor, a teacher, a mailman, a carpenter, a builder but today you are not a builder, you are Bob the builder and your tools talk to you and your imagination can take a backseat because all you have to do is follow the show. Why? What are we trying to do?

Is it really better to score another level on Wii, rather than be out in the yard and smell the air, touch the grass, feel the mud, observe the birds and know the neighbors? Is it really more gratifying to listen to the beeps and sounds of battery operated kitchen set which make "real" frying sound rather than being with mom and dad in the actual kitchen and take part in rolling the bread, chopping the vegetables, sharing stories of your day, making a mess and eating a real meal at the end of it? So many disapprove the idea of the little ones cleaning their table after a meal, or picking up crumbs using a dust pan but are so delighted to buy them a toy vacuum cleaner that has eyes and nose and a mouth to talk. Kids, like grownups, want to be able to do real things in real world rather than just pretend. Maria Montessori helped us understand that individual behavior is shaped through interaction with the environment i.e. learning through experience or 'experiential learning', which means learning by doing, learning through effort and action and gaining satisfaction and pleasure. Imagination gets fostered when we are in real situations and interact with real life. No batteries required.

Do we need Women's Day

2010-03-09T13:01:00.000-05:00

Some ask me why do we need Women's day, why not celebrate being a woman throughout the year. If you think like that, I would say you are from the lucky lot. We as a society have come a long long way in terms of women's progress but there is no way we can say that every woman on the globe has equal rights and is not a victim because of being a female. This is a day to review and look back at our struggle for equality and development. If we see the corporate world, companies boast gender equality policies but on average women receive about 40 % less compensation than men for the same work.

I am so glad to be a woman in 2010 as opposed to say 40 years back when women were largely expected to be docile and could only demonstrate her knowledge and skill in the kitchen. Everyday, in normal households, a sister is expected to cook and clean while her brother goes out to play, daughter in laws are expected to eat last, after the men in the family. And still a women’s worth clings to her womb, as they say "motherhood completes a woman", What is an incomplete woman??? And then, is there something that completes a man? Oh wait, that is never the question. Boy's mother is superior to girl's mother, so the latter has to keep trying to produce a boy to make her position. At a wedding, words from groom's parents cannot be ignored while bride's parents need to quietly serve. Till the time all this looks appropriate to our society, there is a need for women's day.

Till the time our wish lists look like this I wish , and till the time, our society doesn't see us beyond our gender, we would need women's day.

Happy Holi!!

2010-02-28T23:02:00.000-05:00

We celebrated Holi a day before because for us who are away from India, its a working day! And we had great fun making yummy gujiyas, shakarpares, dahi gujiya (stuffed bhalle) and aloo puri. Hope you all have a colorful holi and may all your stomachs bloat with fried food! Holi Hai!!

HOLI HAI!!!

Sharply Thoughtful

2010-02-10T20:52:00.001-05:00

I know I know, I said blogging will be sporadic and it turned out to be non existent. Well that's what India vacation is all about, it is not supposed to have days with schedules and routines!! But we are back and so is blogging. My birthday came during our vacation in India and it was a day full of fun and cheers and the night ended with the whole family singing Happy Birthday tunes. There were many highlights of the day but the one that went straight to the heart and etched itself there, was from one and only, Saumya. She was at my brother's place, enjoying with her cousins, till a day before my birthday. I picked her up on my birthday eve so we are together on birthday morning. She was a bit reluctant to come with me, well its always hard to part when you are having too much fun, or so I thought. On the birthday morning I got a handmade card from her, which she secretly made, I don't know when.

I kept on going ga- ga over this fact that how my 5 year old made a card for me, without me ever knowing about it. Nothing could top it off for the day!
And then around 6 pm, I got a call from my brother and he wanted to speak with Saumya.So I give her the phone but she isn't talking. I ask her why and she says "Mamma can you please go away to another room so I can take this call"
I almost fell off the chair!! But I politely obliged thinking she is just trying to be like me. But this phone calls goes on for whole 10 minutes, well what are these guys talking about and this chatterbox who, for the love of god, cannot talk softly on phone, is almost whispering. So any call, at around 8 pm, my mom and brothers and their families come over to celebrate with us. And instead of greeting me, they find Saumya and after hush hush tones and awkward movements, my 5 year old comes to me with a twinkle in her eyes, the prettiest little smile on her face and a little gift pack in her hands and says "Happy Birthday Mamma, this is for you, from me" I was still trying to take it all in and she said "Open it, open it now!" And so I open it and I find a "vegetable peeling knife" and I am trying to find a reason for that choice, the little voice chirps "Mamma, remember you and me went to TJ Maxx and there was a pretty peeling knife and I asked you to please buy it, though you said it doesn't look safe, I still requested you to buy it because it was so pretty and you did. Do you remember mamma?"
"Unhun, I do remember but......
"Yes, but when you used it, you cut your finger, it injured you and you had to throw it. So that is why I wanted to give you a peeling knife that is safe for you. Happy Birthday Mamma"
Deeply immersed in emotions, my heart almost sank with the thought that this tiny little person held herself responsible for that little scrape on my finger because she asked me to buy that peeler.
This little soul, requested my brother to buy a peeler when he goes out shopping, so she can gift it to me. I think I need to check the year she was born , yet one more time.
Until today, I have not started using it, I just want to keep it forever and ever. It's the sharpest gift I ever got :-)

Grass Is Certainly Greener On The Other Side

2009-12-18T10:30:00.001-05:00

And I am hopping on to the other side for sure, for a visit, eh! Blogging might be sporadic but will be straight from the greener pastures for next few weeks. Yipeeeeeeeee!

image: google

Wishlist

2009-12-09T14:23:00.002-05:00

Its the wishlist season, and I was wondering what would a girl's wishlist consist of?
Jewelery, handbags or clothes?

For a girl in India, a wish list could look like this:

Getting to see her side of the family when she wants. Asking for permission to see parents defies all logic.
Getting to wear what she feels like.
Not considered a possession, of her father, brothers and husband but a person.
See her friends, or actually have some friends.
Not be the last one to eat. Really, why females, in many so called educated and modern families, are expected to eat only after the male members of the family?
Have equal say in financial decisions.Whether she earns or not, she is a contributor to the family.
Doing what she wants for her parents.
A home that is her own, not her mayka (mom's) or sasural (inlaws)
People around her realize that she is an individual who has hopes, wishes, desires, interests, hobbies and cooking is not necessarily one of them.
Future generation girls need not wish for any of these, hopefully they would simply have these.

What are you wishing for?

image: google.

Ajab Scooter Ki Ghazab Kahani

2009-12-03T23:31:00.008-05:00

Apologies to my readers who can not read Hindi. This post could not have met justice in a language other than my mother tongue. If you can talk in Hindi and fully understand it , then grab a friend who can read this to you. Please do not use the google translator , it will just kill the spirit!

घर के बहार खड़ा बेचारा ग्रे स्कूटर गर्मी की लू में
परेशान प्यास से तिलमिला रहा था लेकिन टंकी
भरने की उम्मीद भी अब तो मर ही गयी थी.
पेट्रोल कब नसीब होगा यह तो अब ऊपर वाला ही
जानता है. "मिस्टर तो चले गए हैं दक्षिण भारत
अपनी कोई ट्रेनिंग अटेंड करने और मिस्सेस के
चेहरे से तो जैसे मुस्कान ऐसे गायब हो गयी जैसे
की पंचर टायर में से हवा. अब क्या बताऊँ आपको
, बड़े ही प्यारे हैं हमारे मिस्टर और मिस्सेस. याद
आते हैं मुझे वो दिन जब मिस्टर मुझे बड़ी स्टाइल
से स्टार्ट करते थे और मिस्सेस शर्माते हुए पीछे की
सीट पैर बैठती और फिर मीठी सी मुस्कान देते
हुए अपना एक हाथ मिस्टर के कंधे पर रख देती,
मिस्टर की ख़ुशी का तो ठिकाना ही न रहता और
वो पूछते "चलूँ क्या" . और फिर मैं हिचकोले खाता
, हवा से बातें करता हुआ चलता जाता, क्या दिन
थे वो !! कसम से दो हफ्ते हो गए किसी ने धुल
तक साफ़ नहीं की मेरी ...हाय ! विरह की घड़ियाँ तो
मिस्सेस गिन रही हैं लेकिन धुप में खड़ा खड़ा जल
मैं रहा हूँ . वैसे तो जब मिस्टर अकेले ही मुझ पर
सवारी करते हैं तो मुझ गरीब पर कुछ ख़ास ध्यान
नहीं देते , वो तो बस जिस दिन मिस्सेस से मिलन
होने वाला हो , वो जिसे कहते हैं न डेट, जब डेट हो
तब उनकी किस्मत के साथ साथ मेरी भी चांदी हो
जाती थी . मुझे खूब चमकाते हैं , डिक्की की साफ़
सफाई भी हो जाती है लेकिन मिस्सेस से मिलने
की उत्सुकता में पेट्रोल भरवाना भूल जाते हैं , पर
मिस्सेस बहुत ही पर्टिकुलर हैं भाई , वो तो बैठने से
पहले ही पूछती हैं "पेट्रोल भरवाया" और फिर दोनों
अपना कोई भी काम करने से पहले मेरा पेट पूजन
करवा देते हैं. मिस्सेस तो मेरा बहुत ही ख्याल
रखती हैं , जब भी कहीं पार्किंग करनी हो तो उनके
कहे अनुसार मुझे हमेशा पेड़ की छाया में पार्क
कीया जाता है जिससे की मेरा रंग न हल्का पड़
जाये. कभी भी दावा दारू की ज़रुरत हो तो मिस्सेस
पहले मुझे मकैनिक के पास ले जाने को कहती हैं
और उसके बाद ही अपनी डेट की सोचती हैं .
लेकिन उनकी मुस्कान तो मिस्टर की मौजूदगी में
ही दिखाई देती है , इतना ख़याल जो रखते हैं
मिस्टर उनका . मैं तो बस येही सोच सोच तड़प रहा
हूँ की कब यह हसीन जोड़ा मुझ पर सवार हो,
हिचकोले खाता अपनी मुस्कुराहटों का लेन देन
करेगा और कब मेरी पेट्रोल को तरसती टंकी अपनी
प्यास बुझा पायेगी और मैं तेज़ रफ़्तार से दौड़ता
हुआ दोबारा इन सड़कों पर अपने पहिये चलाऊंगा .
यहाँ खड़ा खड़ा धुल मिटटी खा रहा हूँ अब तो
लगता है दमे का मरीज़ ही ना बन जाऊं . अच्छा
दोस्तों तुम तो निकलो अपने अपने सफ़र पर और
कोई दुःख सुख बाटने वाला ना मिले तो मैं तो यहीं
खड़ा हूँ ना जाने कब तक, आ जाना भैया .
अलविदा !"

My heart lies here

2009-12-01T09:38:00.006-05:00

When I was a little girl I would play ghar- ghar (house) with my friends, pretending the whole park to be our house with imaginary lines dividing the living room( the drawing room as its called in India), the dining room and the bedrooms. Was it my dream home, No. Somehow in real life I never thought of the kind of house I would live in. There was simply no plan or an expectation. I guess there was this contentment in me which never made me wish for things.
Yesterday we celebrated our home's 4th anniversary. The day we moved in, it was cold and rainy and the moment I stepped in, as my socks were wet too, I slipped on the kitchen floor with Saumya in my arms. The house was already a stranger to me but now it became a hostile stranger. Husband went away for a business trip within four days of moving. I was alone with a baby, in a house which seemed like someone else's. Looking out the window, the bare street and lawns covered in snow, not knowing who lives next door, everything felt cold and I felt like an alien on earth. But with each passing day, reaching little milestones like Ssaumya's first birthday, her first words, her first step, first party, first movie night, our laughters, our tears and many more such things through which life happens, we made this house our own, our home.
They say home is where the heart is and my heart surely is with our home. A home whose walls might still be bare but they stand proud and strong. Rooms might lack appropriate furniture but we don't find the same comfort anywhere else. It may not be clean all the time but this is the place where we find our reality. Its a place we call our own, a place we fill with our love, laughter, cries, joys, hopes and aspirations. That little girl of yesteryear's is not playing house anymore as we have a home and its real.

image courtesy : google images.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-24T13:54:00.018-05:00

Before I came to America, I did not know anything about Thanksgiving but now this is one festival which is growing its ranking in my list of things which I label with "I like it" This is a day when American families sit down together to share a meal, or two, to give thanks to people who came to this land to make new life and the native Indians shared their harvest with these new pilgrims. It is also called a Turkey Day as that is what is traditionally eaten on thanksgiving. If you are a Turkey, consider hibernating!!
I am starting to develop a fondness for this day because this festival is not associated with any religion, it does not celebrate any mythological superheroes. It honors actual real people who dared to think different and embarked on a long and difficult journey with hopes of fulfilling their dreams and they actually did! This day makes me stop, only if for a moment, to give a thought to all the things that are going right for me. The day does not ask me to follow any rituals that I do not understand, all I need to do is have a good meal, after which most of my clothes would not fit me, with my family and friends and be happy about the positives in life.
Though the focus of the day is on the bounty that you have, all the newspapers and television advts. about day after thanksgiving sales won't let you forget all that you do not have!! I can't say that I am not thankful for all those sales, in fact I am very thankful. Yea, I am gracious like that.
Splendid food, cheerful company of close friends and tireless shopping the next day that not only gets you those sexy boots that you were eyeing for a long time but also helps you burn those tonnes of calories that you consumed while being thankful, What's Not To Love? I say its brilliant! But if you are a Turkey, I am sure you have a different take on this whole thanksgiving business. I hear ya!
For all the non Turkeys "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Tangy Tuesday Turned Sweet

2009-11-24T12:39:00.002-05:00

I am so very pleased to tell you that my post My Shishya : My Guru has been picked up by BlogAdda for their Tangy Tuesday Picks. I say that's pretty sweet way to start a day!
You can applaud now 'taking a bow' Thank you very much!!
You can see the entire list of wonderful posts (including mine, :-))

My Shishya : My Guru

2009-11-13T12:49:00.006-05:00

This post has been selected by Blogadda as Tangy Tuesday Pick!
My Little girl, the soon to be five year old, is like spicy Indian street food whose spiciness brings tears to your eyes but you don't want to stop eating. Her conversations never end!! In her quest to read more and more, it seems she has forgotten to learn the importance of "period, the full stop". Talking too much has also made her very expressive, she can verbalize every little thought and experience. Running to me in the school foyer, tightly hugging, the little voice said "You are best mamma,everyone wants a mamma like you". Awwww that's so sweet. But what did I do to hear that? Exactly nothing! She was cheering her mamma up because she knows mamma is not in the best of her spirits these days. When do kids learn this? How do they know compliments would perk up everyone. So an otherwise tired and gloomy mother, got a cheer on her face and they both ran to the car, giggling like two mischievous friends who know all the secrets of the world. In past few days I have come to realize that she is not only my little daughter but my friend and my security blanket as well. Her presence keeps me going in good as well as bad times, she has made me realize that there is no "full stop" in life, there are only pauses, no matter how bad or good things are, life must go on.

How do you show respect?

2009-11-05T16:13:00.002-05:00

When you are growing up whatever elders say is right. Right? No! But you are expected to follow what they say and take it in your stride. What if you don't? Are you just voicing your opinion or you are showing disrespect? Does respecting someone means being meek or being submissive to them?
Also, after getting married, girls are expected to touch feet of all of the in laws, whether you know that person or not, of your brother as well as sister in law, even if they are bride's age. Does it really initiate respect in her heart for them? She might still hate them or maybe more because of this. A man on the other hand isn't allowed by his parents to touch his in laws feet, no matter how old they are to him. What this tells about our society? If touching feet is a way of expressing respect, a girl's parents and siblings are not worthy of respect?
I loved being a new bride and enjoyed touching feet so much that many a times I over did it. But today I do not resonate with the custom, I can show respect in many other ways like by giving weight to your thoughts, by being nice to you, by letting you sit first, by being polite, by helping etc. Why is this public display of one person being submissive shows the glory of others?
What do you say?

My favorite season - Photo Essay

2009-10-21T18:30:00.010-04:00

Autumn is my favorite season. Leaves changing colors from green to red,purple,yellow , orange and hundreds shades in between, the sights are just breathtaking. The little nip in the air makes coffee and tea much more enjoyable. I love fall clothes as well, the boots, the wrap around shawls, the woolen skirts, all in sync with the colors of the leaves. Everything about this season is simply amazing!
Here's what fall looks like in our neighborhood.

And we have some visitors as well.....

Diwali.....

2009-10-18T20:33:00.009-04:00

Our Diwali was a simple affair celebrated at home with mithai and candles everywhere. Saumya and me did the rangoli. Hope all of you had a lovely time with family and friends.
While relaxing in my lap, after getting tired of eating all the sweets and running around in excitement of lighting up every nook and corner of the house, Saumya had a worrying expression. "Mamma do big people lose teeth?" This was her 4Th or 5Th question since morning revolving around teeth, my mom instinct sprung up and I asked "Saumya, do you have a lose tooth?" The little cute face nodded yes and tears rolled down those Rosy cheeks. While giving me the tightest hug ever, in her little crying voice she said "When this falls out, I will have a hole in the mouth for months. I read about it" But when I told her that this loose tooth means she is growing up and her mouth is getting ready for a grown up tooth now, it became a time for jubilation!
She went to bed happy and anxiously waiting for the time when the little baby pearl with fall out. And I went to bed crying buckets of tears. My baby is growing up so fast. Every little milestone brings two sided emotions. Its gratifying to see her growing up but its scares me, it makes me realize how fast we are getting there when I will be waving her bye with a heavy heart and teary eyes. The day when there will be silence everywhere in the house, no questions will be asked, no tears to wipe, when no one will forget to turn off the lights, when no one will need 100 kisses at night, when no one will need to listen to bed time story. Its only a loose tooth but this one loose tooth told me that we are making memories today, we are an active part of them today but very soon we will only be left with memoirs.

Happy Birthday Gandhiji!

2009-10-02T12:34:00.002-04:00

Chit Chat

2009-09-17T22:40:00.007-04:00

Saumya is back in school and that means she doesn't get enough one on one time with me. For the past few weeks I have been waiting to get here, so I can be alone for few hours and do anything without being answerable to miss smarty pants. It also sounded like a fairytale that would never happen. The day she joined school back, I didn't know what to do at all ! I was excited to be doing something that I loaded myself with much more than I could handle! And while doing my own things, well if you really must know those things were laundry, grocery shopping, re-arranging the kitchen cabinets and cleaning till the last crumb was picked up, yes that is my glamorous life, coming back to the point, so while being busy in my world I kept on missing this little girl who was with me like my shadow at home. I liked the peace and quiet but I missed a cute little face asking me in sweet little voice "what are you doing? why are you putting so much detergent? why did you put that towel in the washer? Why are you smiling? Who were you talking to on the phone? Why? Why are you reading? Why do you want to relax? Why, why , why , why!!!???" You know that feeling when you are doing something and really want to be done and can't wait to be out of it so you can relax but the moment you are finished, all you do is, in your mind, go over all the little details of the thing you just got over with and realize how much you were enjoying that but if I ask you to do it all over again, you would run away? That's where Saumya has left me by going back to school. She was my reading companion, my shopping buddy ( with a critical eye I must say), my kitchen helper, my cheerleader and above a lovely daughter and fabulous person to be with. we shared such good laughs and many times we were simply there around each other. To see her grow up is a joy and I am glad I got to see so much of it over summer. We both made a special bond this summer and I hope we become good friends for life.

Here are some chit chats she did in past few days

Saumya: When is daddy coming home?

Me: I called him but he didn't take the call. It seems he is driving.

Saumya: Did he forget his blue tooth again? We bought him one so he takes our calls!!

Me: Oh, see I didn't even remember he has blue tooth.

Saumya: Well I do! I gifted him on father's day so he can take my calls while driving. !!!!

Me: (she has an extra art class after school today) Saumya, you will be gone for so long today, I am going to miss you.

Saumya: Mamma, I love you a lot too but even if we love we should not keep children home, I am going to learn something and I will be back.

Me: !!!!!! (spellbound)

Saumya: Come here, I will give you a hug.

Me: Thank you Saumya, I am just saying I will miss you, its not that I am sad. It is lovely that you go to school and get to learn so much.

Saumya: Yes, one should not keep anyone away from learning, no matter how much they miss them.

!!!!

"It might feel like eternity but they grow up fast" is not a joke I guess!

image courtesy : google.

I Think Therefore I Am

2009-09-02T14:08:00.008-04:00

Saumya, Our chirpy little 4 year old is thinking, thinking a lot these days. And what do you have when you think a lot? Questions, a lot of questions.

Why are we born?
I don't understand why do we come in this world. What have we come here to do?
Mamma, remember the time I had my dance recital? I got all dressed up, went up on stage, did my performance and then came back home. Remember that??
Sometimes I feel the world is like that. We get ready in mamma's belly to come in the world, we are born, we become something, we grow old and then we die to go back to God.
Isn't it like my show mamma?

But I still wonder why was the world made, it might as well be nothing.
Also, how was it decided that people will live in houses and animals will live in jungles?

image courtesy:http://www.awarenessdates.com
http://www.rohanbusinesssolutions.com/

Rain rain go away

2009-08-06T13:30:00.001-04:00

Too much rain had led to wild growth in our backyard

Do you see a bee here?

Birthday Wishes That Came True

2009-08-03T23:09:00.007-04:00

Few days back it was my sweetheart's birthday. It was celebrated with much fanfare last year. Now, its very difficult to think of a gift for him that would make him feel special. He is a simple man and would be happy if we just jump up and down an say Happy Birthday and give nothing! Really, are all men like that?? He is a foodie in the truest sense. He enjoys as well as relishes food that is cooked well. So how do you make celebrate this man's special day?? During one conversation, I re-realized that he enjoys the food most when there is a lot of variety and he always prefers to order Thali in Indian restaurant. Eureka! That's what I decided to do for him!
When he came to the dinner table, this is what he saw on his placemat.

And This is his thali, very lovingly made by yours truly. It has Dal Bukhara, Stuffed Aloo Kofta, Kurmuri Bhindi, Achari Paneer, kheer, Puri. We also had dahi bhalley which could not fit in this thali! This was the first birthday that we stayed home but it will be the most memorable one. While chopping, stirring and rolling through the day, my mind wandered through the older times when we were not married and we both would imagine our married life, about the birthdays that we would wake up to together, we would smile imagining about the times when I would cook for him and how it could be a disaster but he would still say I love you. This birthday of his made me realize that we are living our dream. What more can we ask for! so, instead of wishing for more, on this birthday, we counted our blessings and of course he counted the number of dishes I made!!

Story Time

2009-07-24T11:36:00.002-04:00

Thanks to all the reading we do to our 4 year old, she is now becoming a story teller. She can whip a story in seconds. Where ever we are what ever we are doing, one of us just needs to say "Saumya, tell us a story, will ya?" You would barely finish your sentence and the story is already starting. Yesterday afternoon, both of us were on bed and I requested her to tell me a story. She was facing the bedroom entrance and a night lamp was near her. And here it goes.....

"There lived a lamp and a door. So they thought of having some fun. They thought and thought and after a lot of thinking they decided to have a Treat Party!!

"What is a treat party?"

Mama, its a party where we don't eat any healthy food, only treats.

So the door said alright I will get the table and the lamp said I will get pretty dishes and cups and bowls for the treat party. And then they brought candy, chocolate donuts and ice creme. Mama, do you want them to bring anything else to the party?

And my Indian tongue started rolling "Oh yeah pakoda, samosa, chaat, gol gappas......."

"Ok, mamma, we can bring anything as long as its unhealthy" !!!

So with the party and all its work, it took a long time to set up and there came night time. So the lamp said "I am getting switched off, its night now, time to sleep"
And the door said "Yeah, I am also getting closed"

THE END.

Know your sources

2009-07-01T23:17:00.004-04:00

A year back Saumya spent all her TV time watching Maisy and friends. It's a fun and peaceful show where with a man's voice narrating maisy's moves and thankfully no mysteries to solve or adventures to undertake. Simple and mundane things that child does all day. But then she grew out of it. So yesterday, she took out a Maisy board where you put magnetic stickers to create various themes and started asking me if I remember this part and that part of Maisy show as if I am a part of some trivia game show. We started thinking of all the names of Maisy's friends,Charlie the Crocodile, Eddie the Elephant, Tallulah the chicken but we just couldn't get around the Squirrel's name. I said "wow I just can't seem to remember this little friend's name, I don't know sweety"
And the 4 year old brain got an idea! "Mamma if you don't know the Squirrel's name, open your laptop and ask Google. I am sure you will get an answer"!!!!

Very soon she will be telling me all about all the things I said I don't know, not because i didn't know the answer but just because I wanted to get out of the cartoons world and do something else! And you thought Google has made parenting easier!

Mastering Techniques

2009-06-27T23:39:00.004-04:00

Today was a wonderful family day. All three of us spent the entire day outside, me cleaning the cars, husband working in the yard and Saumya darling running around mindlessly while trying to get either one's attention.
Daddy see, I am digging the grass. Oh my, please don't dig the lawn Saumya!
Mamma see I can throw the rocks far away. Honey, throwing rocks can hurt someone.
Little girl was losing the typical childish frivolous animation about herself and was quickly becoming grumpy.
So daddy dear thought of using this 4 year old's time for a purpose and giving her a sense of worth. Hey Saumya, do you see all those weeds in that mulched area. We worked so hard but weeds are ruining everything.
Yes Daddy, its not looking pretty!
So sweety, can you pull out these weeds?
Of course I can!
And she haphazardly starting working in her usual playful manner.
So daddy thought of giving a lesson to the little girl in weeding.
Saumya, I will tell you a technique which will help you take these weeds out the easy way. Blah blah blah blah........went on for few minutes.
So you got it now?
Yes but Daddy another easy way to pull the weeds out which will take the weeds out really fast is that you do it with me!!

Rapid Fire Round

2009-06-24T10:32:00.004-04:00

Recent questions by our 4.5 yr old girl

1. Who is exactly God?
2. What happens to us when we are dead and why can't any one see us then?
3. Why do birds have to fly around for food and why do my story books show them working in the kitchens like us?
4. Why only some teachers are good?
5. What is that thing in water that puts the fire away?
6. Why do we need summer vacation? (!!)

Don't get emotional

2009-06-18T15:47:00.004-04:00

Once a friend in college asked me how my mom's baigan bharta tastes so good and I proudly said "she roasts it really well" and the next day she opens hr lunch box with chapatis and some black blob, I made it by roasting very well, taste it!! Oh Kavita, God Bless you!!
The secret to make good bharta lies on roasting. First the eggplants needs to be roasted well, so well that their outer skin gets charred and comes off with a crackling sound. I do this step under the broiler. And the second roasting step is done on the stove when the mashed up eggplant is sauteed with tomatoes and onions. This takes time and patience and if you hurry through this step, the eggplant will be undercooked and you will get that raw taste. Not something to crave or praise!
So if you promise yourself to not skimp on roasting process, here the recipe you can follow. But please don't get emotional like my friend and know when to stop!
Ingredients
Eggplants - 2 big. (while buying the eggplants look for the ones on lighter side, they tend to lesser seeds)
Tomatoes - 2 big , chopped
Onions - One big, chopped
Green Chili - 2 to 3, chopped finely
Ginger - an inch, chopped finely

Turn the oven on the High Broil setting. Make a cut in the eggplants with a knife for the steam to vent out. This is very important or they will burst inside the oven making a huge mess!! Put the on a cookie sheet and leave them in the oven for about 40 minutes.

Take them out of the oven and leave on the counter to cool.

In the meantime chop the onions, tomatoes, ginger and green chilies.
Put a pan on medium flame, put one tbsp. oil and saute onions. Once they turn translucent and little pink in color, put in the tomatoes, ginger and green chili. Keep stirring in between. While this is getting cooked, peel the eggplant and scoop out the flesh, leaving out as many seeds as you can. If the peels comes off very easily, it means you broiled them good. Now mash this flesh with your hands and then toss it in the pan with tomato onion mixture. Put in salt as per your taste, tsp each of coriander powder, cumin powder, red chili powder. Keep the flame below medium and keep stirring in between. It fills the kitchen with a delicious aroma, once all liquid dries up and bharta looks brownish red, its ready. Garnish it some chopped cilantro leaves and serve hot with chapatis and your choice of raita.

Yard beauties

2009-06-10T12:11:00.006-04:00

Yard Beauties

Why are babies lovely

2009-06-01T11:01:00.007-04:00

On a Sunday evening, family is having tea time watching Hindi TV, that's what my daughter calls Zee TV as that's the only Indian channel we get here. I am getting all nostalgic because they are showing a synopsis of HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN, with few scenes and lots of songs. And then comes the songs "Pehla Pehla Pyaar Hai, Pehli Pheli Baar Hai

The couple keeps going around the room while Salman sings and Madhuri blushes all the time. I am enjoying every moment of it when I hear a 4 year old voice

"WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!!!!"

No, I do not deliver a smart parent answer rather I get in a fit of laughter which no matter how hard I try to stop, just keeps going. 4 year old gets agitated and keeps on repeating "WHAT ARE THEY DOING??!"
With no answer from me, she concludes he is giving her love.

Host of the show abruptly shows up and talks a bit and then shows another scene where Salman is sitting with a baby in his lap.

This time the 4 year old says "Mamma, dekho, wo pyar ker rahe thhey na pehley, ab baby nikal pada. Isliye hi to babies itni pyarey hotey hain" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Translation : Mamma, see they were giving love to each other and now they have a baby. That's why babies are so lovely coz they are made with love.

Mother's Day

2009-05-11T11:04:00.004-04:00

Hope you all ladies out there had a nice Mother's Day! My beautiful day started when I was sleeping. Well yes, because the other two souls in the house made sure not to make a peep so mamma darling can peacefully snore till she wants to. These well meaning souls didn't know or expect that mamma can really sleep for a very long time, so at 10 a.m they barged in with a big hug, chirpy smile and little hands holding a card written in prettiest handwriting which goes up and down and scatters everywhere like love.

My 4 year old wrote "Have Happy Mudurs Day" and then handed me a bag full of lotions and body cremes so your skin can stay as soft as it is. Mamma loves lotions, anything that keeps things smooth, if you know what I mean!

A single cup of tea was served with an announcement that we are going to have breakfast at The Hilton. Oh my, I love being a mother!! And boy did we eat breakfast like a king. Continental breakfast is one of the best ways to start a special day. Bagels, croissants, muffins, pancakes, coffee, tea, fresh juices, fresh cut up fruits, and someone pouring coffee every time your cup goes empty. What's not to love! Just when I thought the treats are over, came another announcement. We are heading to the mall to buy mamma this..........

Being a mother, when comes with perks like this, makes it even more of an exciting job. Father and daughter did a wonderful job making me feel special throughout the day. I had a fabulous day.
Thanks to everyone who sent me emails wishing Mother's Day.

Reader's Digest : 4 year old with No More MYS(miss)TERY

2009-05-05T11:21:00.005-04:00

Ch-i-ca-go U-No, Chicago Uno, hey that's the resteraunt I wanted to go to! Stop here, its right here, I just read the name.

"yeah, you can ready everything hunh!"

"Toys R Us" that is a toy store, its been many days we bought a toy. Let's go in here"

"Ba-r-nes.........ooooaaaaaawaaaaaa, daddy I was reading that and you just kept on driving, you didn't stop the car so I could finish reading that board. Mamma what store was that?"

Barnes and Noble, that is a book store.

"I need to buy books so I never have to stop reading, let's go in there"

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here Saumya, you needed a sun hat. Try that on but don't take the tags off yet"

"Mamma, you brought this from T J Maxx? The tag says T J maxx and the label says Oshkosh, so the company that made this hat is Oshkosh. I can read it"

Yes and yes

-----------------------------------

T-o-y-o-t-a

"Mamma, that car store had a board on it that said Toyota. Is it a company that makes cars?"

yes.

"Our is VolksWagon, right mamma? I read in on your car manual."

----------------------------------------------------

"That board says 'we have all kinds of flowers', lets go in there, we can buy flowers, I love flowers"

-------------------------------------------

On the back of a magazine

"It takes a special chocoloate to make everyone happy"

"Mamma, why does it take special chocolate to make everyone happy? You eat chocolate? Maybe we can eat one and become happy now"!!

------------------------------------------

After reading the entire grocery list........

"Mamma, you didn't write mango in there, we need mangoes too"

--------------------------

"I see UNO again, let's go to Uno. I am hungry. I just read it. Its right here"

-----------------------------------

Saumya choose a book for bed sweety!

"Actually I will read it myself, you can listen"

Being a mother

2009-05-01T08:25:00.004-04:00

IHM tagged me days back to do this. It took me longer than I expected, sorry IHM! Lets get on to it without any further delay!

I became a mom about 4 and a half years back to a lovely girl who instead of being a part of my life, well became my life.

I love being her anchor, all the time. She runs to me to share her ups as well as her downfalls. she looks forward to my opinion and tries to match up to my expectations. I love being such a VIP in some one's life.

I love those big hugs that she gives me when I am sad. "Mamma, don't worry I am with you" these words just bring the world to me. And then asks daddy "What did you do to mamma, she is sad. Go take care of her"

I love the fact that my hugs can take care of most of the problems she has.

I love being a mom to this girl who is turning out to be such a fashionista, she wants to have her own designing company. She will be my accomplice in crime in future!

I love being a mom when my husband when sees me in conversation with 4 year old and thinks, I got to learn those skills!

I love being a mom when my girl tells her teacher in school "my mum is the best chef in the whole wide world"

I love being a mom when I get those little thank you notes appreciating all I do for her.

I love being a mom when every single day makes me realize more and more worth of my own mom.

I love being a mom when saying bye at the school door, she says to me "I will come back to you, so be happy"
Motherhood feels great most of the times. It makes me introspect more on my weaknesses as well as strengths. I love being a mom when my 4 year old questions things that we take for granted and force us to think more and talk about those little big things. "what is inside our body that stores love? why was I born?"
I love being a mom when every night while coming out of her bedroom I say "good night, I love you" and she says "I love you too and you know my love will never finish up"
My heart swells with pride when my daughter stand up for herself and doesn't care much about the popular opinion and goes "But I like it"
I do miss my child free care free days but I would not trade my motherhood for anything. I love being a mom.
Last but not the least by any means, I love being a mom when I wish my mom A Very Happy Mother's Day and she says "to you too"

image courtesy : http://www.inhomegallery.net/index.php

Credit Crunch

2009-04-04T10:04:00.002-04:00

One casual morning, Saumya having her breakfast downstairs before she leaves for school. Mom isn't well, so daddy is getting ready to drop her today. Mom tells him to take her mittens with him.

Daddy goes downstairs

Kya laye ho? (Daddy, what have you brought?)

Main aapke Mittens laya hoon! (I brought your mittens)

Oh, wo to mamma ne diye hongey, aapko kahan pata hai ki mujhey kay kya le jana hota hai school (Mamma must have given you those, you would not know what I need to take to school)!!!!!!!!
Daddy embarrassed, roared into laughter thinking no one gives credit here!

Have Spinach, Will Not Puree!

2009-04-02T11:00:00.004-04:00

Every few days I get this idea of incorporating more and more greens to our food. Dear Husband says you know most of the wine bottles are green too, why worry with all the chopping and cooking! i say we have a 4 year old, we need to set up an example and then I do want to be here to be able to see her all grown up! And then comes the grocery day when I buy the dreaded old spinach, ehh, yuck! Ma would say , you know make palak paneer, its very good for health and tastes divine. Mother in law will say Palak dal is very yummy, FIl gulps down bowls of it, try it, you will like it. I made all those famous palak dishes and when we sit down to eat, I am unusually the slowest, daughter and father keep moving their spoons in the bowl and finally 4 year old will get the smartest idea of finishing all the paneer, leaving behind palak. Can't blame her, I do not like palak when its made into a puree. It reminds me of henna/mehandi and I just can't eat it. But you got to eat your greens!! So yesterday I sauteed leftover rice with onions, tomatoes and green chillies and threw in the usual salt, red chilli powder, garam masala and when it all got mixed in with rice, I chopped two big handfuls of baby spinach and tossed in, put the lid on and let it soften a little. Just before eating sprinkled a little lime juice over rice and I was in spinach heaven. If you are like me and run away every time you see spinach, I say try it, you might like spinach too!!

Morning Delight

2009-03-30T11:09:00.003-04:00

On a Saturday morning, family still in bed.

"Mamma, I was thinking and now I want to tell you something"

Unhun, please do.

"You know I was thinking that God makes people and everything else. So when its time to make a baby, Mamma becomes God, so baby can be made, because you know people cannot make people, only God can make people and when the baby is ready to be born then God becomes mamma, because only mamma can take care of a baby perfectly"

And my saturday morning started with teary eyes and a big hug to this delightful 4 year old.

Revisiting School Memories

2009-03-26T20:22:00.010-04:00

I have been close to bengali culture since childhood. My school used to get aid from the West bengal govt. and in turn they wanted the school to encourage bengali culture. Rabinidra sangeet was our school's forte'. Most of our teachers as well as classmates were bengalis. Saraswati Puja was our biggest festival which is till today attended by the alumni as well. Every girl would dress up in her best clothes and it was like a red carpet event with seniors standing at the gate and giving a once over to each and every girl entering through the gate. "oh my, what a lovely sari, is it your mom's?" hey that lehanga looks nice and the more so called modern ones would go for trendy jeans and skirts which were otherwise banned in school!

"Bolo bolo saraswati mai ki, Jai" sounds would fill the ambiance from aarti pandal. Nostalgia :-)

Surprisingly I never got introduced to bengali food!! But yesterday, over at Asha's food blog , I read about Luchis and it being a bengali bread, brought back all memories from school. I recreated her recipes today and the biggest food snob, our 4 year old gave the verdict "Thumbs Up".

I did use haldi to make luchis yellow in color but surprisingly they turned pink, no one is complaining though! We love pink! I served those with Chana masala following Asha's recipe. Delicious!

Thank you Asha!

Happy Spring

2009-03-20T08:55:00.003-04:00

Happy First day of spring mamma!!

Happy first day of spring to you as well sweety Saumya!!

Happy first day of spring Daddy!!

Daddy can barely open his eyes after working till 3 am.

Thank you Saumya. (sleepily)

Daddy, we don't say Thank you, we say Happy Spring to you too!! Kucch nahi aata aapko. (you don't know anything!)

Preschool Breakfast chit chat

2009-03-18T14:38:00.005-04:00

Mamma, What are you doing ?

Packing your lunch.

But what are you doing ?!

But I am packing your lunch!!!

What part of lunch packing are you doing at this time??

I am making Rava Idli batter.

Oh, I like Idlis. What part of making the batter are you doing now?

I am doing the tarka of mustard, dal and cashews . ( why doesn't she just eat her breakfast?)

Why are you doing that?

What? What do you mean by that question? (Oh great, now she questions my cooking skills!! )

Why do we do tarka?

It gives nice flavor to idlis and you will like the bite when it brings sweet cashew and nutty mustard in your mouth!!

Yes, I think I will like that. Can you tell me the recipe??

Of????

Of Idli !

To you?

Yes, so I can make them whenever I want and you know I love to cook.

Peace Rose

2009-03-17T16:17:00.005-04:00

What a beautiful day, with sunlight everywhere, a little warmth in the air and no snow on the ground. Days like this make me ask myself the reason for not moving out to a place which is like this year round. On days like this I go a few minutes earlier then pick up time so I can catch a glimpse of Saumya in the playground. And what did I see today? Saumya had a rose in her hand and was standing face to face with a six year old, D, and was saying something which I couldn't obviously hear. Then D took the rose and said something. And then Saumya took the rose back and went away. But there she is standing face to face another six year old girl, P. And the same thing goes again. IS this done? No, after P she went to C and there the whole thing took place again. What was going on there????
The rose Saumya had in her hand is called "Peace Rose" and it stays in her classroom. Whenever anyone comes up to the teacher with a complaint about another child, instead of jumping into the Q & A of who did it? etc etc., the teacher asks the complainer if she would like to use the peace rose. The grieving person (A) goes back to the person with whom (B) she had a tiff. Seeing the peace rose, both get ready for communication.

A (Holding the peace rose) : B, you did(fill with whatever she/he did) and it made me sad or angry or upset......

In the playground when I couldn't hear, It seems the older girls didn't want to play with 4 year old Saumya and shouted at her, so Saumya was saying D you shouted at me and that made me very very sad.

The peace rose goes to the other person now.

B(Holding the peace rose): I am sorry, I didn't know it will hurt you or make you sad....I will not do it again.
And the peace rose goes back to its place.

What purpose does this serve?
First of all, no one ever gets hurt by thinking that the teacher did not take their side. Kids, as young as 4 year old learn to tackle their own problems. They are not afraid to approach the older kid because they have a peace rose in hand, a symbol of patching up, of mellowing down, of letting go and most importantly of being friends again. Instead of answering back violently, they learn to solve their problems with communication. Which seriously, we all can use some!

pic. courtesy www.cctheo.org

Religion and God

2009-03-16T12:57:00.002-04:00

What is my religion?

I have a God and have a very personal relationship with Him. The idea of a pundit, priest or a pujari to help me get to My God doesn't work with me. This is one place where the middlemen doesn't stand a chance with me. I don't need to wake my god with bells of a temple or by doing holy fires or by cooking the priest prescribed food for Him. I can talk to Him whenever I want and need to. For me, It's like picking up the phone and start talking to your buddy. To me He is always reachable. I share my happiness with Him and I do not forget to tell Him when he mess up.
My Religion
1. Doesn't empower me to judge the way others communicate with God. It's the way they find Him.
2. Does not depend on rituals. Once I was advised by well meaning aunt to start offering water to Shiva. The temple was very close to our house, the Almighty was just a few steps away! With all reluctance I began the process of going to the temple every Monday and offering water. While pouring water down the Deity, all I could see was water going down the drain and just kept on wondering who is getting benefited by this wasteful act of mine? Aunt said it would please the God. And my questioning self was not able to justify how an act of wasting a precious resource, for which, in most parts of India, people line up to fill their buckets but still go home empty handed, would make God happy? I could not find my God that way.
I am unable to reach my God when I have to follow directions set by others, whether it is covering my head, using only a stainless steel dish, throwing only "a pair" of cloves in fire, or a simple task of first sprinkling water and then offering mithai to the idol or taking off my slippers. In this labyrinth of directions and rules I just lose contact with the God, who is mine. When I do participate in such rituals to fit in the norms of society it seems a mockery on my part. I feel disconnected from Him and my mind just wanders off to other things and just wait in anticipation of getting to be done with it. The rites and rituals bother me, they offer no meaning to me, they put pressure on me, a pressure to perform and perform it right. It makes me feel small, smaller than the person who has decided for me these ways of connecting with God. I feel nearest to God when I get to celebrate festivals my way, I do not bother others, mind just my own business and do not poke in others lives and when I close my eyes I can ask Him, how are things for Him too!!
And in the eyes of others I become a non religious person. Really? Why? Is religion only valid if I follow the rituals?

America Idol - Beat it!

2009-03-11T16:58:00.003-04:00

The opening night for American Idol was highly entertaining with everyone having to sing a Michael Jackson song. Anoop Desai from Chapel Hill, NC sang "Beat It". To say the least, I enjoyed the performance!! I was shocked to hear the comments from all the judges and before this I used to give much more credit to Simon but upon being asked if he regrets the decision to include Anoop, he said a nasty yes. That was too mean! Agreed, this was a big song but then all MJ songs are big and untouchable. Agreed no singer can be MJ but then you asked them to sing an MJ song, didn't you? Anoop was not great but he was good and the audience clearly enjoyed the performance.
I do hope he doesn't get eliminated tonight!
Here's the performance , in case you missed it.

Happy Holi

2009-03-09T16:44:00.009-04:00

Holi is a festival of colors, it marks the arrival of spring with flowers blooming everywhere. It also marks the end of winter and also of the spirit of rejuvenation.
I have never been a big fan of Holi,that is the whole water throwing and color spraying, a tilak of gulal and I am done. Try more and you lose me as a friend! My Holi day was spent hiding inside the house watching TV and a knock on the door was enough to send me to the bathroom to stay away from the enthusiastic holi tolis. But I was the first one to request ma to make those pillows stuffed with yummies, yes I am talking about Gujiyas! Celebrations of holi always started with Gujiya's made by mom two days before Holi. Me and my elder brother would do anything to keep ma undisturbed while she is at this labor intensive work. The fruit of her labor was just too good. Bhaiya would start with one and then in 2 hours or so some family member was heard saying "Yes teri biswi hai, bus ker de ab!" (This is your twentieth, stop it already) Mum would find him loitering around the kitchen for "just one more" Ahh, childhood!
Here in States, I don't need to do any efforts to stay away from holi tolis. Infact, may a times its hard to find color and we end up using our daughters washable paint colors!Being in the northeast, Holi is hardly the end of winter(we are going a snow storm right this moment!) My husband, like me is a big fan of Gujiyas. So this year I decided to start the Gujiya making at home, just like ma. I don't like sweets with overpowering sweetness and that's why I keep my Gujiyas simple by not dipping them in sugar syrup.

Oh, in case you are salivating here's the recipe :-)
Ingredients for Filling
Khoya (Mawa) 400 gms
Suji 1/2 cup
Powdered Sugar 2 cups
Raisins a Handful
Cardamom Powder 1 tsp

Crumble or grate khoya. Take a heavy bottomed pan and roast khoya till it turns very light caramel color.You will need to keep stirring it continuously or it will burn! Keep it aside.
Roast Suji the same way. Suji will take much less time than khoya. Keep it aside.
Mix all the above ingredients and your filling is ready.

Tired? Make a cup of tea and relax by the window, enjoy the snow and pray for real spring to show up soon! hmmmmm

For the cover
Maida (All purpose flour) 4 cups
Ghee 3 Tbsp
Water as needed to make a stiff dough

Oil for frying

Melt ghee and rub it with the flour. Work the flour well with your hands so ghee gets mixed in. Take water and make a stiff dough, like you would make for puris and not like chapati dough, which is softer. Cover it with a wet cloth and leave aside for about 30 minutes.

Now go and see if the weather God needs any more pushing!

Work the dough again to make it smooth. Spend about 10 minutes doing this.
Make lemon size balls from the dough and cover them with wet cloth. Now take one ball and roll it like a puri, about 4 inches diameter.
Take 1 tbsp filling, put in the center of the puri.
Moisten the lower edge (the one of your side) of puri with water.
Bring the top edge to the lower edge, in other words fold over the top edge to seal the edges. I use the back of a fork to pinch two layers together which makes those lovely marks while sealing the edges as well.
Now do like this for all dough balls.

I roll out 10 puris at a time, fill them and cover them with wet cloth. And then roll out 10 again and so on....

Now take a heavy bottomed kadai, pour oil for frying. Heat oil, the flame should not be very high or you would get very stiff Gujiyas which have raw dough inside. Keep the flame somewhere between low to medium. Fry two to three gujiyas at a time and let them turn light brown by turning often. Take them out on a paper towel and let them cool. And there you go, Voila! Your Gujiyas are ready. Spring or not, taste from home brings back all the warm memories in every bite and makes all the effort worth.
Once Gujiyas cool down, they can be stored in an air tight container for about 10 days or so. But I don't think you will be able to save them for so long!
Happy Holi!!

image courtesy :holikerang.com

Memories relived!

2009-03-05T16:39:00.008-05:00

IHM tagged me to do this. Here are my answers about the most magical time of our lives. When I used to be happy and sad at the same time. Every time I looked at the weighing scale, I kept saying ..pls don't make me fat, pls don't make me fat. Doubts of being a good parent were so profound that I was hooked on the pregnancy books, magazines and Internet almost all the time. It became an obsession to find out more and more, to look for a mantra that would turn me into this perfect mother :-) I bombarded my doctor with tons of questions at each visit. After delivering my baby I am sure she was relieved too:-)

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Yes ( what were you thinking!?)

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Wow, we are good, this is the first month we tried and it happened already!

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
No, this was a very much wanted pregnancy.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
I beg your pardon?
If you must know then I am 16, going on 17…

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
My body was hurting so bad as if I climbed a mountain. Though we were trying to get pregnant, I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon but this body ache made me buy a home pregnancy test and I saw two lines on the stick!

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
My husband while he was enjoying the spring sun on the porch.

8. DUE DATE?
Christmas Day! Everywhere I went people went ga ga over it “awww a Christmas baby”
IHM didn’t know if her baby will be Capricorn or Aquarius and I being a Capricorn myself, really prayed for her to be born before Dec.21. Can’t handle two hot heads in the house!

9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Yes and it came morning, afternoon, night, just anytime!

10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Guavas and strawberries.

11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
Smell of dal being cooked. Once I had put Toor /Arhar dal on the stove and me and mine husband had to turn it off and rush out of the house as if the house was on fire. I just couldn't take it! Silly times!

12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
A girl.

13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
No, I would have loved it either way.

14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
25 pounds

15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
No.

16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
See above :-)

17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Yes, I was on a controlled diet as well as medications.

18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
USA

19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
12 grueling cruel hours!

20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL/BIRTH CENTER?
My Husband

21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
No one was just a viewer!! My husband was my main coach along with another nurse and my doctor.

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
Natural

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

No but I should have.

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?

2.7 kgs.

25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?
12:27 am, days before the expected date.
During the last hour at about 11:30 pm, I was praying for my labor to prolong so her birth date remains the same in America and India (because of the time zone difference it was already the next morning in India). My doctor exclaimed “This is the first patient I have seen who is praying for her labor to linger on!!” And when the baby came out 27 minutes past midnight, everyone said “See, she is already listening to you” :-)

26. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN THE DOCTOR ANNOUNCED THE SEX OF THE BABY?
We already knew we are having a girl.

27. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST REACTION ON SEEING THE BABY?
I was crying and laughing at the same time!!

28. DID YOU CRY?
Read 27.

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Soft spoken

30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY
She is a lovely 4 year old who has big plans for life.

Thanks for tagging me IHM, this was really fun!

Please feel free to do this tag, you will enjoy writing about those gone by times.

Let's talk business

2009-03-02T09:38:00.005-05:00

Our 4 year old wakes up everyday for school with an alarm, we love the tranquility we have achieved with this. Every morning she comes to our bedroom with a big cheery smile and a loud "Hello Guys, time to wake up!!" I tell ya, it wakes us all up with lovely smiles and the house gets going for the day without much hassle. And then comes Sunday morning when we parents want to sleep in late, stay and cuddle under covers for as long as we can and catch up on the rest we have been craving for throughout the week. But a 4 year old is an absolute individual. Alarm or not, she wakes up at the same time and rushes to greet us with that big cheery HELLO GUYS and both of us go, nooo, go back to bed, sleep some more, I am sleepy, pick up a book and use your newly acquired reading skills ! Of course, all those meek requests get rejected and she keeps pulling us out of the bed. "Come sweety, why don't you join us and snuggle under covers??" Many of the times this offer works and she happily jumps in. Now do we all sleep some more? You would think so but she is a 4 and she is a girl. So once she is awake, she has the obligation to be chatty. "Mamma, I am thinking about a thing"
ummmmmm, ya?
"Ya, I am thinking about a thing that needs to be in stores for people to buy"
unhun
"I am thinking about flowers that we can eat"
oh
"You know a snack in the shape of flowers. But they will not be ready to eat flowers. They will be in a box which has three sections. One section will have the center of the flower in circle shape, another section will have its petals and one more section will have the stem. So the person who wants to eat that snack, will open the box and make a flower by putting all the given pieces together and then will have a flower snack ready to eat. It will be so much fun to eat the snack because you get to make it too"
Now that did bring me out of slumber and I thought wow I was never that creative!
"And you know, they will be edible flowers, so they will be safe to eat but very colorful like real flowers. Can you buy that snack for me next time we go to the supermarket?"
Well, I am not sure if they have any such thing in stores for us to buy.
"You can try mamma and if they don't have it then we will make it and put it on the grocery stores shelves. We will sell edible flowers" !!!!!
I am thinking we should all get up early on Sundays, who knows when we think of the next big idea.

Flavors of home

2009-02-25T19:26:00.001-05:00

Our dinner last night! We served it to Saumya as Chip(Makki ki roti) and Dip(Sarson ka saag). She ate ever last bit of the green dip with thick chips!
I have not missed my mom like this before, she is on my mind all the time. It may sound weird but to feel closer I am cooking few of her favorite foods these days. She loves Sarson ka saag with makki ki roti but I never liked this dish and now every bite reminded me of the warmth of home, of ma's lovingly bringing rotis hot off the stove for all of us. I love you ma, I wish I could be with you.

Story Teller

2009-02-24T19:01:00.004-05:00

Our 4 year old loves to read stories, loves to hear stories and is now developing the skill of telling a story.

Lazying around after dinner she told us two little stories.

A Plant
There was a plant who wanted to play. So the plant thought that she wanted to play. The plant decided to go out to play. The plant was outside playing. While playing the plant saw it's reflection in the pond and felt it needed a bath. The plant went to the beach where it played with sand and then plant's mamma called her inside the house.
The End

*Both of us, me and husband were in fits of laughter but managed successfully to hide from the storyteller*

The Rose
Once upon a time there was a flower- flower rose. The rose thought how nice it would be for someone to hold me. The rose wanted someone to draw its picture on a paper. The rose then wanted its picture to be cut from the paper and hanged on the wall so the wall can look beautiful.
The End.

I loved this story with a clear beginning, a plot and then a clear ending.

Jai Ho!

2009-02-23T12:08:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to A R Rehman for winning 2 Oscars! Jai Ho!

Observe, will ya?

2009-02-11T13:56:00.002-05:00

"Daddy, tomorrow Mamma is coming to my classroom to Observe"
Observe What?
"To observe me. Ms.C has invited her to observe how I work in the classroom"
Hmm, interesting.
"Mamma, you will be there, right?"
Would not miss it for a thing.
"It will be exciting, extra special day for me mamma"
Awww, come here, mvah, love you!

In the Classroom
Saumya is cutting a banana, which means, she was preparing a snack for me so when I enter the room she has something to offer me! Did I just melt seeing her or what!
Then she grabbed my hand and guided me to the observation chair and asked me to sit "Mamma pls sit here" Awwww, did I just melt again?
And then she went around the classroom serving snack to everyone and came to me as well. "Mamma, would you like to have a banana piece?"
Awwww, did I just melt again?!

After this she went about doing her stuff, cleaning the banana cutting work board, washed and dried the serving bowl, wiped the table and gave me the prettiest smile while working! Awwwww, did I just melt again?!

Not Simple

2009-02-05T13:20:00.004-05:00

Last night, much against my liking, bedtime story that our 4 year old picked up was about Cinderella's simple wedding. One of my friend gifted her this book on her first birthday and I keep telling her that these stories are far from reality and if you are reading something better put your hands on something that keeps you close to ground. The book was hidden somewhere but the girl has such good memory that she made me dig for it. And sometimes I just let it be. So the story was how everyone wants Cinderella to have a fancy and lavish wedding with everything big and elaborate while she is hoping to have a real simple affair which in the end she did get and was very happy.
"Mamma, why was Cinderella getting married?"
"Hmm, because she wanted to get married. Like me and your dad"
"Mamma, will I also get married?"
"Yes, if you want to"
"But you know when I get married, it will not be simple at all. It will be very very special, with everything extra special. Yes, mine will be a fancy wedding"
IHM, in her post talks about how her daughter wants to have a big wedding too, seems there is a wave of fancy in the air!

Pyari Bitiya

2009-02-04T23:14:00.004-05:00

I hear the alarm go off in Saumya's room and quickly run to the toilet to be done before she comes. As I am washing hands she open the door to our bedroom and comes in and doesn't find me on the bed.
"Mamma, dekho aapki pyaari bitiya aayee hai, pyaar do na" (mom see your lovely daughter is here, give love already!)

Moi Homme

2009-02-04T00:30:00.007-05:00

Please be forewarned This is one mushy post, proceed at your discretion!

I love cooking but I do not love to cook when I have to cook. For that matter I do not love anything that I have to! One particular night after preparing dinner I parked myself in front of the TV and husband did the serving. Well so what, he didn't cook it! Post dinner I asked him "What else have you got to bring to the table?" Hmm, with a big grin on his face he left for the kitchen and knowing that he cannot cook anything I was not expecting anything and got glued to the TV. He came back with this

Spicy bhujia, drizzled with mango powder chutney, a small bar of jaggery gajak, baby cheese filled with raisins and topped with a green chilli!! I saw love written all over it. To cheer to me up, he combined all the sweet and sour flavors(and hot too) that I love and presented it to me with a big hearty smile. I love moi homme!

Step back, please!

2009-02-02T23:43:00.002-05:00

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed - Maria Montessori

A day at our house goes --------

Daughter - "I wanted to turn that light on"

Off and then on again.

" I wanted to close that door"

Open and close again.

" I wanted to take that sweater out of the drawer"

Sweater gets folded again, goes back in the drawer and then gets taken out again with a gleeful face

"I wanted to hang that towel back on my own"

Towel comes down the bar, girl steps on the stool and hangs it again.

"I wanted to put butter on my toast myself"

Hmm, this can't be undone, so she becomes the big person and says "Don't forget it next time, OK?"

"I wanted to put my syrup on pancakes all by myself"

This can't be undone too, so she again tries to be the big person "Just like I said about my toast, don't forget that I will put my own syrup everyday"

When will us, the parents, grow up??

Highlight of the day

2009-01-31T22:15:00.002-05:00

Mamma, when was the first day I went to school?

September 4, 2008.

Ohh that must have been the greatest day ever. I can't wait for this weekend to be over and be in school again !

Ahhhaaa!

2009-01-24T01:02:00.005-05:00

Trrrrrring!

She: Hello

He: OK, we will be watching 8 O'clock show!

She: What show?

He: Slumdog Millionaire sweety!

She: I so want to watch it, every one's raving about it but why did you get it for 8? I need to put Saumya to bed at 8!

He: OK, what time works?

She: Anytime after 9.(Thinking "are we really going to the movies?")

He: Alright, you are booked for 9:45 tonite. Yay, we are going to the movies after four years! Aren't you craving for theater popcorn?! (Thinking "are we really going to the movies")

She: Love you

He: Love you too!

image courtsey http://movies.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Image:Popcorn_ticket.jpg

Thank you!!

2009-01-22T12:43:00.003-05:00

What a great day today, 2009 is turning out to be a great year!
I am the recipient of two awards, very generously bestowed by Mithe.Thank you so much sweety! She jots down awesome poetry, go read once and you will for sure become a follower. I wish I could give these back to you as well, and maybe I can! Your blog definitely has my heart and your words come straight from the heart too! Thank you for being my blogger friend.

Following the tradition, I pass on the 'you have my heart" award to Mithe Indian Home Maker , Chandni, Preethi and Asha. Thanks to all bloggers who make it worthwhile to spend time in the blogosphere!

Witness to history

2009-01-21T13:17:00.002-05:00

Four year old jumped in the car yesterday after school, wearing a beads necklace given by the teacher, playing it with her fingers she said "you know mamma, it was an exciting day, I saw history being made today" Looking at my flabbergasted expression , she explained "You know Barack Obama, the one you showed me on your computer many times, I saw him becoming the President of my country America"

While I was still trying to figure out my response, she asked "What does being the President mean?"

"That means he is the care taker of the country and the leader who will hopefully work along with the rest of us to do good things for the nation and the world"

Silence for few minutes in the car and then "Will Barack Obama take good care of us?"

"We will see"

"Ya, we will,, otherwise we need to ask someone else to do that job"!!!!

Budding Artist

2009-01-19T11:53:00.004-05:00

Minnie Mouse, the other image of a blurred head near her is her image in the mirror!

Mickey Mouse with his clubhouse on left

Our house!

A garden

Beyond pink and blue

2009-01-18T20:49:00.003-05:00

So the other day my girl was in the school playground when one of the boys came up to her and said "You are wearing a boy's jacket (It had cars theme), you should be wearing something with princess on it" And she replied "I am princess who loves cars and I also love aeroplanes and trains"

Puzzle mania

2009-01-12T17:41:00.013-05:00

The Proud Puzzle Girl, with her four favorite puzzles of 48 pieces each. All done in record time of 20 minutes or less. We wake up and rush to make puzzles, go to school, come back and make puzzles and then sleep with a promise to make them the next day!!

SOLAR SYSTEM

HER BELOVED COUNTRY

PRINCESS CASTLE

OCEAN LIFE

Good Bye to 2008

2008-12-31T15:05:00.003-05:00

Year 2008 has been full of action for our family. We did an India trip in spring where Saumya bonded with her cousins and all the extended family. We got to saw a side of her that was never displayed before. In India, I got a chance to visit the pink city, Jaipur. Thanks to my husband who made another of my dreams come true.
In June, I started blogging and made so many lovely friends. Reading each and every blog has helped me widen my perspective. And every time a reader left a comment, I got motivated to write more. Thank you for being a part of my life and also for sharing your writings with me.
Right at the start of summers I got to buy the car of my dreams, My Beetle, and I am loving every moment I am getting to drive it. A big thanks to my love for making this happen.
Before summers could end we got our permanent residency papers approved.
In Fall, our daughter Saumya took a big step and started her formal education in school which follows Maria Montessori's Follow the Child theory.

Now when the year was just about to end, a very dear blogger friend of mine Mithe, has bestowed me with an award!! She is a thoughtful writer and I find her words very very soothing. Follow the link to her blog and you will be hooked.
This award holds a special place in my heart because she made it herself. A big thank you for the lovely honour!! This is a perfect end to a great year I had!

The British are here!

2008-12-30T12:29:00.003-05:00

Our family had exciting few weeks and the reasons are many fold. We just celebrated Saumya's birthday and she was so ready to be addressed as a "Four year old". You can imagine a little girl asking everyday , is it my birthday today? Though She was sad the very next day for it being over! But to keep her spirits up, her grandparents are here from India to be with her during Christmas holidays!! They were last here when she was born, so for her, this is their first trip! Now you must be wondering what's with the title of this post! Well it seems when you have kids, everyone gets to know your current affairs. Not that we have anything to hide ,umm, well you get the drift. Someone at the school parking lot asked me today "Hey I heard Saumya's grandparents are coming. How nice but whose parents, yours or the husband's?"
Oh , my husband's.
"Your in laws are coming???"
I suppose so.
"Oh honey, I am sorry!"

And this happened twice this week! Not the same exact words but the same idea! This might sound way too cliche if I say "I get along well with them" but I really do! I won;t say its a path filled with rose petals and I love to indulge that way but it's not the time for me run with jitters! If I have to describe my inlaw parents, I would say, mum is a peach and dad is a grapefruit. Oooh that didn't sound like I meant it to! Mamma is loving and helpful and she is very soft at heart. She is cozy like a warm blanket too and yes sometimes can get too warm!! Dad is good at motivating people and won't overlook your positives but the same goes for your shortcomings too!! Dad is bitter, tangy and sweet, just like eating a sour orange with salt on it. You don't know which bite you are going to only like and which ones you will simply love and want more and more. Yes, that's how he is.

But really, its nothing like everyone is making me feel it is! My parents did a wonderful job raising me, well, of course but as a person I was only appreciated after I got married, by my in laws. Everything I did, they received it with open arms. And I will be thankful for the most precious gift they gave me, My husband, their son.